Brothers
by NeverFarAway
Summary: Raphael has something buried inside that he keeps from his brothers, wanting to show that he's not weak. Leonardo, also hiding things from his brothers, is willing to do almost anything to protect his brothers, afraid of failing. These two butt heads a lot, one unaware of each other's troubles. But what happens when these two switch bodies?
1. Weak

**Hey, long time no see, so very sorry that I couldnt keep publishing for a while, but so many things with school, private life, and having writiers block! I feel very badly about being gone for a long time, and I'm deeply sorry for the people who was reading my other story!**

**For my other book, I'm still going to continue it, but I'm shorting it to a two book series and I don't know how much I will update that story in a month, still trying to fix some things. **

**Now with this book, I'm making this three books, and I have had this story idea for a long time, longer than my first story. I have thought this one through, and now I'm posting this up now! Some info. on it; I have always been interested to see what makes Raph so angry, why he seems to have an uncontrolable anger, and why at points he seems vulnerable. So while reading comics and watching the show, I have come up with an idea why he says "they just don't get it". Mutagen, that seems like an interesting idea I wanted to explore, and I know that's not why he is always angry all the time, but I wanted to try this out. ****I'm going to say I'm also interested in the idea on what would happen if Leo and Raph switched bodies :) **

**I'm also going to say that this story will have violent moments, and might be changed to mature later on.**

**Anyway**,** sorry again for being gone for a while, I hope this first chapter will be good and somewhat make up for my absense.**

**Hope you enjoy, and let me know what you think! :)**

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><p>Chapter 1- Weak<p>

Raphael's POV

Weak.

That's the one thing I hate the most. Being defenseless and not able to do anything to do about it, I hate the feeling, and it's a feeling I feel everyday.

I'm only strong when I'm angry, only when I get my blood pumping, where the deadly mutagen has a hold on me. I'm its slave, I'm its home, and it's my energy source.

I depend on it because it keeps me alive, and in return I'm its host.

Ever since I was a little turtle, before the mutagen, I was a very sick little thing, I know because I remember, unlike my brothers who say their tiny turtle years were a blur.

People would at least think out of all my brothers and I, it would at least be Donnie that would have that problem because of how he is built, but nope, I'm the one.

Before the mutagen, I was sick all the time, could barley do anything on my own; walk, eat, drink, ect. The vets, or store people, whatever they are called since I didn't like them, didn't like me all that much since it took money to keep me alive from supplies they get. I can remember them always complain about how much work and effort it took them, that they didn't see the point on spending money on a small, pointless turtle, who seems like he is just going to die anyway.

I also remember when one of them said that, I found the energy to bite him.

But out of every human, or was human, to have some faith in me and actually take me home and take care of me; was Splinter, my father.

That's when, after happy of being free from the store with my brothers, the incident happened, where my life was changed forever.

The mutagen felt so good, addicting. During the transformation, since the mutagen felt me with life I always dreamed of, I took in a lot more mutagen than, I guess, necessary. I was surprised I didn't automatically go into a second transformation, or at least look different, or disfigured, from my brothers, the main difference is my height, personality, and eye color, which I shouldn't be any surprised by my eye color.

It's the color, or at least close, to the color of the mutagen.

Funny thing about mutagen, it makes you angry, full of rage. I have learned to control myself alright, but the older I get, the more the mutagen takes a stronger hold on me, which makes me work twice as harder just to keep sane. My body is still naturally weak, I always feel like I have a elephant on top of me, which is why I love to move around and fight enemies, because that always gets my blood pumping and so the mutagen takes in effect. But I have to always be careful, because if I let the mutagen take full control of me, I become a monster, which I lose control and blackout, usually leaving destruction in my path.

Which sucks because Leo and I always have fights, and I will admit that I was close to letting the mutagen take control a time or two. Even when in the dojo doing lessons with Splinter and my brothers, I have to be careful.

So mutagen does make me strong, allows me to move on my own, to eat on my own, to fight on my own, I'm able to do anything on my own.

But it's hard to do things on my own when Splinter always has an eye on me all the time, since he still remembers everything, which means he knows that I'm, how he puts it, "fragile". Always coming for privates everyday after dinner, and sometimes in the middle of the night, to learn self control. I don't won't my brothers knowing, I want them to see me naturally strong, that I don't need help from anyone, including Splinter.

I don't want anyone seeing me weak.

Right now I'm sitting on the edge of the tall building, which is right next to the entrance to my home; not exactly eager to go inside. For one, Leo and I had a huge fight earlier today after getting home from a huge mission, mad at me because I almost "jeopardized" our mission, which I highly disagree with, since I'm the one that saved Leo's shell from flying through that machine with the scientist. Instead, I also risked my shell by knocking the guy away from Leo and I went through the machine with him, who knows what that machine does, but if it has a big affect on us, at least it won't involve the scientist. I saved us because that guy was so eager to go through that machine with at least with one of us, so I know it was something that wasn't good, and I wasn't about to figure it out the hard way.

If anything, Leo was the one who almost jeopardized the mission.

Second, I'm injured, and not from the previous mission. I have a big stab wound on my shoulder, covered in bandages that was done poorly, which is why I shouldn't be the one doing it. If anything, Donnie is the best at that stuff, but if I go to him then he is going to want an explanation, and then him being the irritating brother that he is, is going to tattle to Leo, and then I'm going to be questioned and lectured.

And there is no way I will let him into my private life.

Some things are just best left for me to do things on my own, and if fighting in an underground arena during the night time multiple times a week, winning money and helping out a friend later on gives me pleasure; then I don't have to explain myself to Leo. It's already a pain just having to lie to Leo where I go out almost every night, after he ends up finding out that I sneaked out.

The more I think about it, the angrier I get. I forcefully slam all of my night clothes and mask into my backpack, except for my jacket which I left on, and threw it into my secret compartment, trying to lock it, but having a diffcult time since my hands are shaking from anger.

"I don't get it" I hissed, stuffing my key into my jacket pocket, "I shouldn't have to hide what I like to do, it's just a fun fight where people make bets, and the money I get from winning just goes to a friend who has done a lot for me, I shouldn't have to hide it!"

Spike, who was sitting next to my compartment, just stared at me, then chewed on his leaf.

I smiled a little, glad that he seems to understand me. He may not actually say it in words since he is only a small turtle, but I always feel like he does, like I can talk to him without problem. Ever since I first laid eyes on him, I knew he meant something to me, like a buddy to keep me in line, to help me talk to him so the mutagen doesn't go into overdrive.

"Glad you understand" and petted him on his little forehead gently, and I see him starting to smile, and I start to feel myself calm down. I then picked him up and put him in my pocket with my keys, the wind starting to blow harder than before, and I wanted to keep him warm. I took a quick look at my shoulder as I take my arm out of the sleeve for a second, glad that the blood is starting to stop bleeding through the bandage, and put my arm back into the sleeve.

As I start to stand, my vision becomes blurry, my legs wobbling, loosing all feeling in my arms.

Not again.

This is exactly what happened in the fight tonight. I'm usually untouchable, but when this happened I didn't know what to do, I tried opening and closing my eyes, but by the time I manged to open my droopy eyes the guy was right in front of me. The only rule in that arena is to knock out the other opponent, even if injuries are bad enough to bring you to the brink of death, it's an illegal fighting arena after all. He meant to stab me in my plastron, but I got lucky and dogged in time and only inflicted minor damage in my shoulder, at least I think so, Leo and the others will probably think differently and baby me.

At first I think maybe because my anger level has lowered, but then I think back to the arena, I was mad as hell the whole time, and I could feel the mutagen flowing through my veins. This is unusual, even for me.

I had not control over my body as it slowly leaned over the edge of the building.

Move, come on, move!

Spike started to make some noises, trying to tell me to move, as he peeked his head out if the pocket. Once he realized that I couldn't, he squirmed back into the pocket and pushed himself right up against me.

The is just odd, I can feel the mutagen moving within my body, but my body is unable to respond. My vision just gets darker and darker as my body leaves the building.

The last thing I see is my body falling straight for the dumpster.


	2. Switch

**Well, here's the next chapter to my new story, this is where things start to pick up a bit, now you get to see what's going on with Leo!**

**Hope you enjoy! :)**

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><p>Chapter 2- Switch<p>

Leonardo's POV

Failure.

One thing I despise and hate. Since I am the oldest and the leader of my brothers, my responsibility is to help train, protect, and lead.

Which means there is no room for any failure.

I may seem boring to Donnie and Mikey, and Raph thinks I'm too serious and "uncaring", is how he puts it. Well I do see where I can be too serious and boring at times, I highly disagree with Raph's accusations about me being "uncaring". I love my brothers with all of my heart and soul, I would rather die than have any of them die before me.

That's what I fear right now, about Raph. He's out of control, getting angrier and angrier with each passing day, sneaking out almost every night, and coming home throwing an attitude and having arguments with anyone he comes into contact with, mainly me. Normally I wouldn't take it too badly and only scold him if he comes home with an injury, but ever since the last fight with the Shredder before we took him down, what he said to me involving Raph, I'm literally on edge.

Saying, _"There is more to your brother, Raphael. He's a monster, a highly dangerous weapon, I want his power, and I don't care wether I have to kill him or use him to get it."_

I don't know what he's talking about, but I do intend to find out, meaning I'm going to have to drag it out of Raph.

So I haven't told anyone, not Casey and April, not any of my brothers, especially Raph, and not even Splinter.

He wants Raph. Knowing the Shredder, there is always the possibility of him coming back, he's proven that over and over. He's got many connections and knows where many locations to labs, and there is no telling what Karai is going to do since she is the Shredders second in command. The Krang are also on the Shredders side, he can easily persuade the Purple Dragon or some other gang in this place to give him what he wants!

Raphael is not making it easy for me to help him!

Ok, stop being paranoid, even though Raph is a target I don't need to go crazy over it.

I take a deep breath as I start to wake up, my thoughts being my dreams, and I inhaled a nasty odor, which wasn't the sewer smell that I got used to since I was little, no, this was different. I opened my eyes, only to be welcomed by darkness, which is weird since the last thing I remembered was talking to Donnie while waiting for Raph to get home, inside the lit living room. It feels like I'm laying on a whole bunch of pointy, lumpy, oily, and nasty smelling stuff, sure the sewers don't smell like heaven, but this is just almost unbearable. Then I decided to sit up.

That's when I ended up hitting my forehead against a metal, gritting my teeth and laid back down on my back again. My shoulder started to feel like it was on fire seconds after hitting my head, gritting my teeth harder.

What the heck happened last night?

Using my arm with the good shoulder, I placed my hand on the metal and pushed up upon it, suddenly feeling weak. The opening to the thing opened slightly, light peaking through the crack, but my arm gave out and the opening shut on me.

I tried lifting my leg, barley left the floor, having to take too much energy than needed to. I tried to raise my other leg, which gave me the same results, then I tried to raise both of my arms, but did the same thing, plus adding onto the pain on my shoulder.

"Why can't I do a simple task" I grunted, doing my best do keep myself from vomiting from the smell, " what the heck happened to me, I hope that I'm not poisoned."

For a second when I talked to myself, that my voice sounded like Raph's, but I just shook my head, "nah, I'm just getting too worked up."

Again, I sounded like him again!

What exactly happened to me, because I'm hearing things.

I felt some thing crawl on me, taking me by surprise, my blood started to pump and I suddenly felt like I had the energy to punch through many brick walls and run fifty marathons. With that sudden burst of energy and the fact that I don't know what's crawling on me, started throwing my arms and legs randomly in hopes of getting whatever is crawling on me off of me. I punched and kicked the metal that surrounded me, surprised that it doesn't hurt, and the pain in my shoulder was like it wasn't even there.

I finally had the sense to kick the opening of whatever is containing me, and light, but not a whole lot, shined down at me, with that I quickly crawled out of the nasty smelling container. As I crawled out, my foot hit the edge of it and ended up falling flat on my face, but my blood was still pumping, my heart is still racing, my mind is going a million miles a minute, it was like it didn't even happen, barley felt it. I jumped onto my feet and got into a fighting stance, unable to stay still, my body shaking, fingers twitching, while scanning the area around me.

I put down my fists, fingers still twitching, and raised my eyes, wondering how I ended up in the dumpster right outside my home.

That's when I started to calm down, the energy leaving me, my legs wobbling as I lean on the dumpster for support.

I'm just too confused right now; last thing I remember was getting close to an argument with Donnie in the living room, because for some reason he was taking Raph's side on how Raph saved us. The living room was lit, I was pacing back and forth since this time Raph wasn't home at his usual time when he decides to sneak out, then I remember things going blurry for a second, that's it. And now my energy, my body, is acting weird on barley being able to hold myself up, to wanting to do almost anything to just move around and being all fidgety when I stay still, then back to just barley holding myself and wanting to just sleep.

Am I sick?

Was I poisoned?

Can I even walk myself home?

Then I realized that I'm wearing a jacket, and I normally don't wear clothes unless I'm going on a mission or it's really cold, and last time I checked it is neither if those things. As a matter of fact, this is Raph's jacket, well, hoodie. It's completely black with a red dragon on the back, mine is blue with a black line circling around the waist.

This is just weird.

I nearly jumped out of the hoodie when I felt something in my pocket, and I was about to grab it and throw it out when I saw its little head.

"Spike, what are you doing out here, and importantly, what are you out here with me" I asked, really wondering why he is out, especially with me since he doesn't show much love towards me at all. Why isn't he with R-

That when I felt my weird energy mood swings kick in as I start to freak out, able to stand on my own again.

How can I forget bout my own brother, I don't even know if he even made it home, maybe that's why Spike came out?

No, my little brother cannot be taken away from me, not by anyone, maybe Mikey just put Spike out here to mess with Raph as a cruel joke.

No, Mikey may not be very smart at times, but I know he knows the difference between a joke that gives him a few punches, and a joke that ends up being the end of his life.

Why am I even standing here, I need to see if Raph is home!

I take off the jacket, wrapping Spike up to keep him safe and comfy, and opened the entrance to the sewers, jumped in, finding these bursts of energy refreshing. I close the entrance and run through the sewers, almost going through the wrong passages every now and then.

"RAPH" I scream as I run closer and closer to my home, seeing the lights from the room.

As if right on cue, right as I step into the living room, Mikey jumps out of nowhere and engulfed me in a big hug. He squeezed so hard that, even though in my burst of energy, I could feel the pressure from Mikey's hug in my shoulder. I push Mikey off of me and see that my shoulder is in a poorly wrapped bandage, mostly red from blood.

What, that looks bad, how did this happen?

"I was s-, what happened to you shoulder" Mikey pouted, pointing at my shoulder.

Crap, I don't even know the answer to that question, so I just walk to the closest mirror in between the kitchen and the bedrooms, the opposite direction of where I was originally heading to the living room. My energy starting to leave me with each step I take, each step I feel it getting harder and harder to lift my feet off the ground.

I get to a mirror and right when I look at myself, my jaw dropped.

I see Raph...but it's me, he's me. I touched the mirror, half expecting it not be me, having it be a dream and having Raph pull me into the mirror, but the mirror was solid as day. I waved my right hand with my good shoulder, putting the hoodie that contained Spike in my other hand, up and down as the mirror image copied my motions. I made a few faces, smiling, frowning, mad, sticking my tongue out, ect.

I don't know what to think.

"Dude" Mikey laughs, just realizing that he was behind me the whole time, which was dumb of me, "what are you doing, just figured out what you looked like?!"

I didn't know how to respond.

"Raphael, where have you been" I hear Donnie scold, which I didn't respond to, not until he got closer and turned me around, wincing from his grip on my shoulder "where have you been, I swear, Leo, Mikey, and I were worried sick about you!"

Still unable to speak, looking at myself in the corner if my eyes in the mirror.

"Fine, but at least tell me where did you get the injury on your shoulder" and crossed his arms, this time wanting a response.

Dang, Donnie sure knows how to pull off the big brother role.

Still not sure how to respond, especially since I have never been in the role were I'm being scolded, unless it's from Splinter, so I start to think. I would say something about me being Leo inside Raph's body, but they will probably think I'm just trying to get out of trouble, knowing Raph, or saying that to get special treatment. I need to discuss this with Raph before I say anything, so for now, try to act like Raph.

How would Raph respond?

"None of your business...eh...dork!"

Donnie and Mikey give me a confused look.

Ehhh, I guess not so convincing.

Donnie just rolled his eyes, which irritates me, just because Raph does it to me, doesn't mean he can either. I wanted to say something to him, but then I remembered that I'm Raph; Raph doesn't scold or lecture, he's the one that has the scolding and lectures given to.

"Mikey, go check on Leo and see if he is awake and feeling any better" Donnie instructed while taking Spike out of the hoodie away from me and handed him to Mikey, staring at me intensely, making me feel uncomfortable, "I will fix Raph's shoulder in my lab."

Wait, how am I doing, what happened to me, or Raph?

"Wait what happened to m-, I mean Leo?"

Donnie gave me a skeptical look, "he's feeling a little under the weather, he's going to be fine, right now we need to focus on your shoulder" and with that, we walked to his lab.

Meaning end of discussion.

Knowing Raph, he would protest against Donnie, saying he could take care of himself. Maybe I should give an excuse to see how Raph is handling it in my body, although Donnie did point out to Mikey to see if he was awake, kind of figured that he was still passed out since I noticed that nothing is destroyed and that he hasn't interrogated me yet.

While walking to the lab, we walk through the living room, and there is my body, Mikey sitting next me, well, now Raph.

I was thinking about protesting, but guess I was too busy staring because I crashed right into the wall.

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><p><strong>Next chapter you will get to know how Raph will react!<strong>

**And for extra info., I will go into Donnie's and Mikey's POV (after all I'm making three parts, or books, out of this story), there will be stuff going on with them as well, but mainly Leo and Raph. **

**Anyway, hope you enjoyed, and please let me know what you think! :)**


	3. A Dream and a Rude Awakening

**Yes, finally got to write the rest of this and post it up! This is the longest chapter so far, as I noticed as I was done writing, and I think I did a good job on posting this up in good time. I might be able to post another one in a few days if I can finish my many homework and projects :/**

**Anyway, I hope you enjoy, and let me know what you think! :)**

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><p>Chapter 3- A Dream and a Rude Awakening<p>

Raphael's POV

- Flashback -

Six months ago

"That's all I have to do, just beat them until they are unconscious" I asked, Sia in hand, unable to hold back my grin.

My new 'coach' or 'sponsor' just grinned back at me, "yup, beat them as hard as you can, just don't kill them, we don't need police snooping in here."

I twirled my Sia, "names are confidential right, the last thing I need is my older brother barging in here and make a fool of himself."

My coach just laughed, "yes, I explained this to you before you agreed to fight, one hundred confidential."

"Awesome" I nearly shout, my body just inching to fight, my energy rising, my whole body just one big spastic mess.

He just chuckled, "that's what I like to hear, now, go out and make me look good!"

I give a dark grin, "don't worry, I won't" then I pulled my mask over my face, which is completely black with a few red lines going across the face. It has a crack, similar to the lighting bolt shaped crack on my plastron, right on one of the eyes. I wore a hoodie, a different one that I wear around my brothers, this one I'm wearing is completely black, and I pulled the hood over my head and put on my black gloves, hiding my upper body and shell. I also wore black sweat pants and socks to hide my legs and feet, my whole body covered in black from head to toe, only my bright eyes visible, but barley.

The announcer stood in the middle of the arena, and he shouted to the rowdy crowd that was full of gangs and drug dealers, some of them I recognize, since I beat them up a time or two for messing with innocent bystanders.

Good thing I'm wearing a disguise.

My coach went off into the stands, having his own corner with the other 'coaches' as well, most of them are just there to make bets on their 'player' to win, which I'm guessing that's were I'm going to be getting some of my money. At least that's what I've been told, my coach also told me that if I win I also do win some earnings from the announcer, since he is one of the few people who own this arena.

I'm not even going to try and think about where these people even got the money to bet twice a week.

Since I'm new to this whole thing, my first underground arena fight, when the announcer called me out.

"Fresh meat!"

I oh so wanted to just run out and knock him out for the announcer for calling me that, but I didn't want to look bad for my first fight, so I just held my head up with whatever dignity I have in this place. As I walked out from the small cave, which connected with the arena ground, the crowd shouts many things like "come on easy knock out" "get out of here and come back when you are ready to show your face" "kick this little bitch out of this arena" "my bet is on Blockout!"

They would think that shouting this stuff is going to lower my confidence, they are mistaken. What they shout just fuels my anger, which means it is fueling the mutagen, making it impossible to beat me.

I walk to the middle of the arena, standing in front of my opponent; who is taller than me, big rippling muscles, wearing black sweat pants and with no shirt, had a very unappealing face to look at, his dark eyes staring at me with glee, wearing a big ugly smile which showed his teeth, which some of them are missing. From the screaming, I'm guessing his name is Blackout.

I'm a shrimp compared to him.

The announcer stood between us, me and him being about the same height, more appealing to look at, short black hair, large biceps, me and him wearing similar clothing, deep voice, and he seemed awfully familiar to me. I wanted an up close and personal look, because he has hardly said a word to me and he is not giving me a good feeling, but I feel that would be weird, that I'm probably being paranoid...again, so I don't.

"The rule is nice and simple, you win when you knock the other person out" he explained, probably because of me being new, I really don't think everyone else here needs a reminder, "but do not kill, everyone obviously wants to see you fight again!"

Seems pretty sadistic.

But again, everything about this isn't exactly sane.

Including me.

"Now fight" he shouted, and used a smoke bomb and disappeared from the arena, leaving me and Blackout.

"You goi'n down" and threw the first punch at me, dodging it with ease.

He threw a few more and I did a back flip, dodging it and moving to the other side of the arena.

"Hey, you're going to do more than throw punches" I taunted, smirking.

"Don't make fun me" he whined, and ran at me with impressive speed for a guy his size. As he was running, he reached behind his back, pulling from his strap that was wrapped around his chest, and pulled out two giant ax's.

And I thought this fight was going to be too easy.

I pulled out my two Sai's, twirling them as Blackout was getting closer and closer.

"What are you doing" my coach screams, "move out of the way before you end up screwing yourself!"

I ignored him, and as Blackout reached me, he swung both of his ax's at me. They may seem impossible to dodge at this point, but I did what I saw Leo do when he trains by himself, which do a little dance. A little dance that is nice and smooth, swift movement that moves at an incredible speed, while moving your weapon to help block what I can't dodge.

I'm never going to admit it out loud; but some moves I see Leo do are useful.

I swear, the whole arena went silent when I did this; to see someone who actually has skill and not just some idiot on the street who thinks he can fight, just because he can beat up an old person, rape poor defenseless women, and kidnap and murder people who can't fight back.

With my speed, I was able to jump on one of his ax's, and kicked him in the face, hard.

This knocks him on his back, but was able to make an effort to get back up.

I let him, but I kick both of his weapons away.

"Never mind, this is going to be too easy" I shout, the guy finally standing, one of his eyes starting to swell up, his nose bleeding, and has a busted up lip.

"No make fun of me" he screamed, and I couldn't hold back my laughter.

"Can you please use correct grammar" I giggled, just realizing how much I sound like Donnie right now.

Oh, how I miss fighting.

"Why does matter freak" he spat.

Freak?

I hate being called a freak!

I guess I wasn't hiding my reaction well, because for a dumb guy, he knew he hit my weak point.

"What freak, do not like freak!"

Shut up!

"Freak, freak, freak, freak, freak" he sings over and over again with glee.

I feel the mutagen taking over, I try to fight it, but this idiot won't shut up.

I see black starting take over my vision.

_'Oh my god, look at that freak!'_

_'He should belong in a circus!'_

_'Monster!'_

_'You look like a freak, no one will ever like you!'_

The last thing I do before my vision blurs is throw one of Sai's at the guy.

I didn't know how long I was in the darkness, as I was locked inside my mind, banging on the walls, trying to ignore the painful name calling that is bouncing in my head. I screamed in my mind, to the mutagen, to let me break free, trying to push the mutagen away so I can take control. My heart was beating rapidly, my breathing almost uncontrollable, my eyes stinging as I refuse to cry.

_'Remember Raphael'_ I hear Splinter's voice in my head, _'breath, be patient and breath.'_

I didn't want to, I want to break free right now!

But maybe that's what I need to do, not want, Splinter has been telling me that for years.

As much as I didn't want to, I take a deep breath, slow my breathing, and inhaled and exhaled. I do this over and over again, noticing the more I breathed and had calm thoughts, the more I was pushing through to take control.

Before I knew it, my vision became clear again and that I was back into the arena, only I'm in a different position.

I'm kneeling over Blackout, who is unconscious and has my Sai lodged into his shoulder, his face all busted and bloodied up. I look at my gloved fists, blood stained the gloves, a stinging pain flowed throughout my arms, which I came to realize that, while the mutagen was in control, I was beating this guy to a pulp.

For a moment I was just staring at this pathetic guy, unable to think if I should be happy or not, I mean, I didn't enjoy it, but I don't feel bad like I usually do. It's a great way to get rid of stress, seeming like I hardly have the energy fight until I get some sleep, or maybe, or I know, that it's because the mutagen is backing off for the moment.

"Our new winner" the announcer shouted, and the crowd was booming with excitement. The announcer grabbed my hand and stood me up, handing me some money.

Paid upfront, I like that.

I like all the attention I'm getting, it's all about me, not Leo. I'm the one being praised for my own hard work, not Leo. I'm the one calling the shots, not Leo.

Just me, not Leo.

I take the cash and stick it in the pocket of my sweat pants, yank the Sai out of Blackout's shoulder and raised it in the air. I think the crowd, and coaches, like what I did, because they are just jumping up and down with excitement, like a bunch of wild animals.

And I see my coach enjoying himself as he is counting the money that he won from betting, and when he saw me looking at him, he gave me a thumbs up.

Almost like a fathers approval.

I think I'm going to like it here.

- End of Flashback -

"Leo" I hear as I slowly start to wake up.

I didn't respond, thinking that one of my brother's wants to talk to him.

"Leo" I hear a little louder now, sounding like it's coming from right in front of my face.

I think nothing of it, and I grunted as I roll over to my other side, turning away from the noise.

That's when it is finally silent; about time.

I felt a smile creep upon my face.

"LEO" I hear Mikey scream, pissing me off.

I snap my eyes open, and big bright blue eyes are just inches away from me, Mikey smiling from cheek to cheek. He was kneeling on the top of the couch, which gave me the perfect opportunity and I punched him in the face and knock him off the couch.

"OW" Mikey cried as I sat up and stood on the couch, crossed my arms and glared at him.

"Don't ow me, you were the one that decided to wake me up" I replied, still feeling tired, "how many times do we have to go over this, never wake me up, EVER!"

"But Leo" Mikey pouted, causing me to give him a suspicious look at the mention of Leo's name; did Leo want to set me up?

What more does Leo want, he already told me that he was better than me and that I almost jeopardized the mission, even though it's the other way around, what more does he want to say to me?

"Donnie told me to try and get you on your feet when you started to show signs of you waking up!"

So Donnie and Leo want to play this game.

"You always do what Donnie tells you to" I snapped.

"B-but, you fell to the ground last night, I stayed up and helped watched you, and now Donnie is in the lab with Raph fixing hi-"

What?

"But I'm Ra-" I start to say, when Mikey starts to tear up, "Mikey, I didn't mean to make you cry..."

Mikey gave a sad smile, "I know, I was just extremely worried about you Leo."

Again, what the shell is going on?

"Quit calling me Leo" I screamed, really getting tired of whatever the others are trying to pull on me.

"But, you are Leo" Mikey says.

"No I'm not" I say harshly, "I'd rather slit my wrists before I even consider the fact that I even want to be like Leo!"

Mikey slowly, cautiously, taking steps towards me, placing a hand on my forehead. I slapped his hand away, "would you quit it!"

"But your head feels a little hot Leo" Mikey complained.

"BUT IM NOT LEO" I screamed at the top of my lungs, becoming scared, yet a little happy, that I don't feel the mutagen trying to fight to take control.

Mikey flinches, but then decided to run off for a second, then coming back holding one of our mirror's.

"What do you want to do with that mirror" I question while giving Mikey a weird look, getting into a fighting stance just I'm case if Mikey, or any of the others, are trying to pull a trick on me.

"Look" and Mikey almost shoved the mirror in my face, "you are Leo...Leo."

I was getting ready to punch him in the face for calling me Leo again, but I took a peek in the mirror, I was about to vomit.

I see Leo, me as Leo, how can that be possible?

I turn away and looked back again, seeing if my mind is messing with me, which my mind loves to do, and I still look like Leo...maybe even being Leo, in his body...

No, this can't be happening, this can't be happening, I'm not Leo...I'm the hot headed, the misunderstood Raphael. The brother no one can get a clue what is pissing him off, which over half the time I don't even know what's pissing me off.

I'm not some arrogant, self-absorbed, uncaring, smug, perfectionist Leo!

My world feels like it is crashing around me, finding it hard to even breath.

Everything is spinning, I try to put a focus on Mikey, and I'm starting to see him blur.

My legs give out on me for a second, and Mikey catches me, thankful that he even did by the way I'm treating him right now.

"Oh my gosh Leo" Donnie cries from behind, "are you alright?"

Mikey sets me on the couch while I fight the urge to snap at Donnie for calling me Leo, since I just figured out that I'm Leo.

"He didn't even remember his own name" Mikey says in a worried tone, Donnie placing a hand on my forehead.

"Get your hands off of my head" I snapped, nearly biting his hand; mad as hell.

"Can't remember his own name and is acting like an animal" Donnie grumbled, "great, just what we need, a leader who is forgetting things and is acting like a baby, and a middle child who is weak and can barley walk on his own."

No wonder I can't feel the mutagen inside of me.

That means I'm in Leo's body...which mean's Leo is in my body.

This is Leo's fault, and I'm going to make him pay.

Right when that thought crosses my mind, out stumbles Leo in my body, leaning on the wall for support, giving me a nervous smile.

That's when I pounce at him.


	4. Fighting and Cloning

~Hey, sorry I didn't update like I usually did, but you know, school and projects, plus I wrote many different versions of this chapter. You get introduced to a character!

Anyway, I will post another chapter as soon as possible to make up for falling behind this week

hope you enjoy! :)~

Chapter 4- Fighting and Cloning

Donatello's POV

I hate this, I hate this so much, why does this happen?

I'm getting tired of them fighting, I'm tired of being the one that has to take it all; when will they learn that their fighting effects not only themselves, but our chemistry as a team and brothers as well. It's already bad enough that Raph came home with an injury and Leo passed out for some strange reason, but then they both fight as if they blame each other for this whole mess.

And Leo to make the first move to fight, that's just out of character. Same with Raph when I was fixing his shoulder, he ACTUALLY let me do it instead of complaining or make a sarcastic remark.

That's exactly what I need, two whacked out brothers; sarcastically speaking.

I lock myself in the lab on the verge of tears, hyperventilating, this anxiety starting to take control. I'm known as the level headed and smart one of the group, always willing to think things through rather than jump in and throw the first punch; and everyone expects that of me. I have high anxiety, I'm good at hiding it from my brothers, always seeming to have everything together, and I feel like if I show them one shed of tear, the whole group will unravel and break apart.

That is all I seem to have in this group, is to just keep everyone in line, nothing more and nothing less. Mikey brings light in the group that I wish I can bring, keeping us from getting depressed and puts a smile on our faces, even if we don't want to. Leo is a hard worker that leads this team and being the big brother, that he is good at being. Raph is the passion of this group, always willing to protect and do anything to make sure that the people he cares for is safe, even if he puts his life on the line; which does scare me.

Wish I had one of their qualities, anything from being the one responceable for keeping us together, it's an important job that shouldn't belong to me.

I would trade this trait for one of my other brothers traits.

A tear leaks from my eye, sliding down my cheek and onto the floor, creating a small dark dot. More threatened to come out but I held it in, refusing to let anyone to see me like this.

"What's wrong Donatello" I was asked, and I nearly jumped out of my shell, completely forgetting that I wasn't exactly alone in this lab.

I looked up and saw what I created, my clone; only differences are his skin color, which is a light shade of purple, he has yellow eyes instead of brown, a little shorter than me, a small tail that has grown a little since he was created, and small dark blue spikes that start on top of his head and lead down to his back, which forms his shell and makes a spiky shell. I've been hiding him in my lab and many other places; not ready to tell my bothers and Master Splinter since I really don't think they will like the idea of having another mouth to feed and train.

I was originally was just going to make a robot to assist me, but I was working on a cloning experiment to see if I actually could do such a thing, and I got them mixed up. I was working on making an assistant to help me get my experiments done while I spend more time with my brothers, especially Raph, since I know he is still very mad at me for an incident almost seven months ago. I want to show Raph, Leo, and Mikey that I'm good company, I want to connect more and stop being so awkward, I want to show them that inventing machines isn't the most important thing in my life.

Maybe I can even stop Raph and Leo fights.

I took deep breaths, close to passing out a few seconds ago from hyperventilating, "I'm fine, just trying to avoid getting punched and kicked by Leo and Raph."

He is not very expressive, and not exactly the most nicest being in the world either, but surprisingly gave me a annoyed look while squeezing my staff that is in his hands, "don't those two know when to stop fighting, it's annoying me."

I just nod, "agreed."

He clutched the staff even harder and hissed, "don't you think they need to be taught a lesson?"

I gave him a weird look, a little surprised that he would suggest violence as a first reaction, since he is my clone I know that's unusual; if anyone it's Raph that is the one who throws punches first.

"I don't think that's a good idea" I respond, reaching for my staff in his hands.

But he steps backwards and yanks the staff out of reach; what is he doing?

"We need to do something and I've told you before, I'm tired of hiding" he growls.

I sigh; this is not the first time he has complained about being stuck in the lab and hiding, but he always drops it after I tell him it's not a good idea, right now he's not. He's putting up a fight.

Something I should try every once in a while.

"I'm going to take care of their nonsense myself" and with that he shoved past me and kicked the metal doors open, surprising me with how strong he is considering I locked the door.

I ran after him, only to have the doors slammed in my face.

Now I'm even more upset.

"Wow, Donnie, can I have him" I hear Mikey say with excitement, "he looks almost exactly like you, only cooler!"

My clone shouted in pure annoyance, "get off of me you fool!"

I mentally face palmed myself; Mikey is almost too cheerful and dim witted sometimes.

I run over to the living room to see Mikey attacking my clone with a big hug, and my clone trying to get out of Mikey's grasp. My clone used his tail and wrapped around Mikey's ankles, which distracted Mikey for a second as my clone took advantage of and broke out of Mikey's grasp, and hit him in the head with my staff.

All I could do was stare at them, trying to maintain any sanity that I might be losing at this moment. This day is just weird.

"Who in the hell are you" I hear Leo scream.

"Donnie, what did you do to yourself" Raph questioned, crashing sounds coming right after.

I run over to the room that they were in (Mikey following while mumbling about his head), which is the kitchen (great the food is safe), and my clone was standing in between the broken table. Raph leaning on the counter for support, bruises all over his arms and legs, and one on his eye. Leo was next to Raph, didn't have that many bruises, but one of his legs was twisted in an awkward angle, grabbing a random knife off the counter and advanced at my clone.

My clone just stood there with a huge, devilish grin on his face; scaring me.

"Guys stop" I shout, "let's not turn this into a blood bath!"

Leo stopped and stared at the clone, and then at me, "why in the hell" and pointed at the clone with the knife, "did you make this" giving me look that I swear Raph gave me after I ticked him off nearly seven months ago.

"Don't refer me as a 'this'" my clone snapped at Leo, pointing my staff at him, "I'm an actual living thing like you, and you better watch your mouth, I can hurt you or kill you and make it look like an accident."

I thought my clone would act the way I would, but he's acting almost completely different.

Leo forced a smile, "I would love to see you try" and twirled the knife.

Out of all of us, I would expect Leo to be the one negotiating and keep the peace; but right now I can tell he wants a fight. Raph is being surprisingly quite, just standing there while Leo is asking for the fight, and by the look on Raph's face, he looks like he doesn't want a fight but looks to exhausted to speak.

My clone twirls my staff with impressive speed, "it would be my pleasure" and charges at Leo, and Leo did the same. Since I won't allow there to be any blood bath, and for the fact that I'm getting sick and tired of the fighting, I sprint towards them and purposely stepping on my clone's tail, and he let out a cry. While he was distracted, I quickly grabbed my staff out of my clone's hands and twirled it and first hit my clone and knocked him onto he ground, then twirled it again and then hit Leo's hands, sending the knife flying to the opposite side of the kitchen. Leo was taken back, and I didn't allow a second to go by when I hit my staff to Leo's stomach, and sent him flying and hit the refrigerator, Raph limping over to him.

When he reached Leo, he tried to examine his injury with a worried expression, as if Leo attacking him never even happened; which is way out of character, and Leo just shoved Raph off of him.

They are confusing me.

I can feel my anxiety rise up, the tears wanting to pour out like a waterfall, my breathing becoming rapid.

No, I can't show my brothers, I need to be strong, even if I don't want to be!

"Donatello" I hear master Splinter say, turning my head to see he was at the entrance of the kitchen, the knife that was in Leo's hands is stuck in the wall, inches away from Splinter's face. Mikey on the other side if the knife, with a big and nasty looking bruise on his head where my clone hit him, looking at the knife with a scared look on his face, guess I almost hit him too; I'm screwing up today.

I gave a sheepish smile, blinking back the tears, "hey Master Splinter, how was your morning?"

He gave me a skeptical look, then looked at the kitchen, also giving my other brother's a skeptical look as well, then I saw his gaze fix my clone. My clone saw this and slowly sat up, staring at Splinter with caution.

I can feel the tension.

"My sons" now looking at Leo, "what is going on?"

Leo then looked at Raph as if he has all the answers, and Raph looked back with confusion.

'What am I supposed to say' Leo mouthed, looking back and forth between Raph and Splinter with a nervous look.

Raph just shrugged his shoulders, 'wing it' he mouthed back.

Those are acting strange.

"Leonardo" Splinter raised his voice, obviously wanting an answer right now.

As Splinter snapped at them, Raph snapped his head as he called Leo's name.

"Yes Master Spli-" Raph started to say, only to have Leo slam his hand over his mouth.

Very strange.

"Yes Master Splinter" Leo says with a forced smile; Raph giving Leo a dirty look.

"What is going on here" Splinter questioned, "why does Raphael have an injuried shoulder that should be tended to, why is your foot twisted in an odd angle, why does Mikey have a big bruise on his forehead that wasn't there last night" he took a deep breath and pointed to my clone, "and why on earth did you bring a stranger into our home?"

"Well" Leo started to explain, wincing as he stepped on his crooked leg, "it's a very long story..."

"Yah" Raph chimed in, "how my shoulder got injured, well, I was being very dumb, stupid, and hotheaded, and threw a fit and decided to pick a fight with random strangers."

My jaw dropped; Raph actually said that, actually admitted it.

Leo glared at Raph (who I would have thought would have done a little celebration dance), his hands balled up into fists, mouth twitching; looking like he wanted nothing more than to just knock him out.

Like before; very strange of these two.

"And I" Leo says through clenched teeth, "got everyone worked up and passed out, only because I didn't get what I want when Raph doesn't listen to my stupid orders" then he gave a devilish grin, Raph looking at Leo with wide eyes, "I should have been a better leader and sucked it up."

Just strange.

Splinter sat there in silence, mainly looking at Raph with concern, but he just shook his head, "well, all of those aren't a good enough excuses for why our whole home is a complete mess."

"Well, it's not my fault Master Splinter" Raph responded, looking as though he might pass out on the spot if Master Splinter doesn't forgive him in the next few seconds, and then pointed at Leo, "Ra-, I mean he, Leo, was the one who attacked me first!"

"Well then" Leo interrupted, glaring at Raph while crossing his arms, "it's not my fault that things are this way, why we are like this" and says as calmly as he could through gritted teeth, "it's your damn fault."

Raph opened his mouth, but clamped it shut and looked at Leo with shock, looking like he just got slapped in the face.

I have never seen Leo this harsh and Raph being speechless, usually it's the other way around...that's just weird.

I'm starting to feel bad.

"Leonardo" Splinter snapped.

"Master Splinter" I interrupted, finally speaking, "it's also my fault, I didn't break up the fight when Leo jumped at Raph, may I take them to my lab and fix them up, and then you can punish me for not doing the right thing."

Splinter stared at me, and I know he's debating in his mind if he should let me take the punishment rather than Leo and Raph, while Raph and Leo stare at me with confusion. They should be punished, but it's my fault I let their fight go that far, I'm going to be responsible and do my job for this family, and that is keeping us together, as much as I still think I don't do a very good job. As for Mikey, he could of helped me out, but I'm not going to be mad at him, knowing Mikey, him staying out of the fight was the smartest thing he did.

"Oh come on Donatello" I hear my clone speak for the first time since Splinter entered the room, "don't blame yourself for what they started!"

"But I went into the lab instead of breaking them up" I explained, "to me, that's just as worse a starting it."

He gave me a cold stare, when Splinter says, "Donatello, explain to me who this is" and pointed to my clone, and my clone doesn't seem to like that.

"Yah Donnie" Mikey says excitedly, my clone getting in a defensive position at the sound of Mikey's voice, "he looks so cool and similar to you, where did you find him?"

"He didn't find me, he made me" my clone responded before I could, " and if you try to hug me again, I will make sure you will regret it."

"There will be no threats" Splinter snapped at my clone, my clone raising an eye at him, clearly not happy at the tone in Splinter's voice, then Splinter says while turning his attention towards me, " and what did he mean by 'made' him?"

By the look on Splinter and my brother's faces, they all wanted an answer, and I could feel myself getting nervous, "I...cloned myself, which created him."

Everyone was silent, letting the thought soak in.

After a moment of silence, my clone gave a devious grin and looked at Leo, Raph, and Mikey, "which means, I'm your brother!"

~Yup, another Donatello! He is going to play an important role in this story. I wanted to do or have the dark clones in a story, and then I thought this would be a good story to have them be apart of and I get to write about them, but it's just Donnie's clone right now.

Anyway, just felt like putting that in there, and please let me know what you think! :)~


	5. Leonardo and Raphael

~As the title of this chapter implies, this chapter is going to be about Leo and Raph :)

Sorry for for taking a little while with this chapter, got distracted and have had many ideas bouncing in my head, plus I got a job.

But anyway, hope you enjoy, and let me know what you think! :)~

Chapter 5- Leonardo and Raphael

Raphael's POV

"So you are saying that I'm a horrible brother and that I'm a horrible turtle!"

Leo let out a frustrated sigh, "that's not what I'm saying, now would you let me talk to you further other than you telling me that 'no one needs to find out about this, now go to Splinter and screw off'."

"Yes, I will talk to you later when my leg is not killing me from Donnie snapping it back into place" I shouted from the other side of the door, leaning on the wall for support as I didn't want to step on my, or Leo's, hurt leg.

After all that chaos, I ended up with a leg that needed a bone popped back into place, since I tried to kick Leo (which at that moment I was so furious at that moment that I didn't even care he was in my body) and ended up kicking the hard wall instead. Donnie told me that I needed to, after fighting with me to keep him away and telling him that I will snap my bone back into place, to rest and stay in bed, considering he thinks I'm Leo, and Leo will obey almost any order.

I knew if he knew if it was me, Raphael, that he would keep me under constant watch, which pisses me off.

Plus I didn't have breakfast, lunch, or dinner since of the fighting and having Donnie give me medicine, which I didn't want, knocked me out for hours. So being hungry is pissing me off even more.

"Raphael" he says in a hushed tone, sounding weird since it coming from my own voice, "it's my room anyway, we need to talk about this, and I know even though you are injured, you do not obey orders, so I know you are walking around instead of resting in bed."

He knows me so well.

But he really needs to go to Splinter for my nightly meditations, otherwise Splinter will get suspicious, and I know how Leo gets when Splinter show any signs of being angry, suspicious, sad, ect.

"Please."

Damn it.

"Fine, come in Leo" I sighed as I opened the door, "but just for a minute, you need to be somewhere."

As soon as he entered the door, he quickly locked it behind him, and against my will, dragged me to the bed. I struggled with him but he overpowered me, which I feel embarrassed, but yet happy that my strength can overpower Leo's any day. He laid me on the bed on my shell, set a pillow beneath my head and set a pillow under my hurt leg, laying the big ice pack Donnie gave me on my leg, wrapping it around my knees and going down to my ankle.

I was about to sit right up again, still hating the feeling of staying in one place despite not being on my own body, but Leo must have read my mind and sat right on top of me.

"Get off of me" I demanded, trying my best to sit up and push him off of me, having the hardest time doing so.

I could see him smile, "nope, I knew just as soon as I laid you on the bed you would try to get up again."

"I was not" I lied, hoping that would get him off of me, still trying to push him off of me.

"Like I'm going to fall for that" he snorted, "face it Raph, I know you too well, I know you better than you know yourself."

I had to bite my tongue, not wanting any secrets flying out of my mouth.

He giggled, "pouter."

He did not just call me that.

I held out one of my fists while glaring at him, and said in a threatening tone, "what did you call me?"

"When you don't scream and hit people when you're mad, you pout" he explains, his smile getting bigger, "you did that a lot when we were younger."

"I would hit you right now if both of my hands were free and my leg wasn't held down by a giant ice pack" I snapped, STILL struggling to push him off of me.

He didn't respond to me, he just stared at me while smiling. I didn't know if I was imagining things, since I noticed he was staring at me in a loving way, and it was making me feel very uncomfortable.

It's not that I don't love him back, I really do, along with my other brothers despite how annoying they all can be. But I feel like when Leo just stares at me, it makes me feel like he is staring right through me, like the tough guy act is all just an act, and that I'm just scared of getting near them because I'm scared of myself, of who I truly am.

I really don't like him staring at me.

"What do you want to talk about" I asked, looking at the ceiling, avoiding his gaze, which wasn't easy since he is staring at me through my eyes, the gaze being very intense.

Even though I wasn't looking at him, I could tell his smile went away, his voice going from happy to serious "oh yah, I was thinking about getting Donnie's he-"

I snap my attention to him again, knowing what he was going to say at the mention of Donnie's name, "no, we are not going to get his help!"

He just rolled his eyes, "come on, I know you are mad at him for some reason, I don't know why and you and Donnie won't tell me, but come on, you know he's the only one who can fix this."

"Oh, I know he can" I growled, really not liking that Leo decided to bring this up again, "but I'm not just going to run to him, in all honesty, I would rather jump off of a cliff into a ocean full of blood thirsty sharks."

"Quit being stubborn" he scolded.

"I'm not being stubborn" I say a little too quickly to sound convincing.

He just shook his head and folded his arms, which means one thing; a lecture.

"Raphael" he starts, which he always starts a lecture with my name.

"Here we go again" I shouted, and plastered a big grin in my face, purposely bring up my leg that didn't have the ice pack on it and hit Leo in the head.

Right after I hit him in the head, he decided to sit up off of me, which I couldn't help but smile and take a deep breath, and he stood right next to the bed. But my happiness was short lived, he jumped in the air, I realized what he was doing a little too late, and he landed really hard on me.

I felt pain shoot throughout my body, and I had the wind knocked out of me.

Reminded me of when we were kids.

He crossed his legs and sat were he was facing me, now he is the one grinning, "I have to admit, that was kind of fun."

I could see him taking deep breathes, and can tell it was from the mutagen. I knew this whole time that he is pushing himself, I can see him trying to act like nothing is wrong with him, but I know. I know what the extra mutagen does to my body, which he now has control over, I have to admit he's doing a good job on staying in control, but I know he is struggling.

But I can't help but get a little jealous of the fact that he seems to have better control over my body than I ever had; kind of pisses me off.

A lot.

"Fun for you, not for me" I grumbled, taking a deep breath. He hasn't done something like that to me since we were little, believe it or not, but he used to be the mean one. I guess since becoming the leader he has matured, which seemed to suck most of his playful side out of him. I guess the mean part was passed to me, playful part was passed to Mikey, and Donnie went from being a loud, sarcastic, snobbish kid who was arrogant; to a quiet, still sarcastic, snob who isn't as arrogant as he used to be.

"Now little brother" he says, starting to get a little serious, "if we aren't getting any help from Donnie, since your being STUBBORN about it" and I rolled my eyes, "what are we going to do then?"

I really don't know, but I'm not going to say that to him, that would mean socializing with Don. Plus I need to get ready for my underground fighting tomorrow, and it will be damned if I missed that, I'm not going to let this whole situation get in the way of that. I also need to meet some friends later tonight now, I need to give some of them money.

Come on, think!

"We should go back to that lab" I finally say while snapping my fingers, "that guy must have something..."

"I know" Leo smilies, and I just smile back hoping he can take it from where I left off, "that scientist that we went to a day or so ago, that machine that we were both pushed into, that's probably what made us switch bodies!"

Dang, why didn't I think of that, that actually sounds right.

"That's what I was thinking too" I tagged along.

He didn't look like he believed me, but shrugged his shoulders, "are you sure you don't want to get Donnie's help?"

I said without the slightest hesitation, "nope, we can easily switch our bodies back ourselves, we aren't weak Leo."

He still looked like he wanted to tell Donnie, so I decided to make things easier for him, "it would save the embarrassment you would face from Splinter, we got ourselves in this situation, and we can easily get ourselves out of it. Don't you want Splinter see you as a great leader?"

He stared at me, knowing he's debating what I just said to him.

"Come on" giving him a big, yet forced, smile, "do it for me, your favorite brother."

He sighed, "fine Raph" then smirked, "I will do it for Mikey."

I couldn't help but get offended by that, my jaw dropping.

Leo started laughing and patted my head, knowing it pisses me off, "I'm kidding" and snapped his hand away when I almost bit him, "you know I love yah Raph, and if keeping this to ourselves means keeping you on your good side, then fine."

"That's what I liked to hear" I smiled back, my eyes now wondering Leo's room, just now noticing how clean and organized it is, and was about to make a comment about it when I saw the clock, seeing that it's almost midnight.

I, or now Leo, is late to my nightly mediations.

"You got to go!"

"Have to go where" he questioned, giving me a weird look.

"Splinter needs you" I say in an aggravated tone, catching him off guard as I push him off of me.

He fell on the floor and I hopped of of the bed, the pain shot pain shot through my hurt leg and fell on Leo.

"Get on the bed" Leo commanded me, pushing me off of him.

I couldn't help give a chuckle, "like I'm going to stay in bed" and stood up, ignoring the pain this time. Before he could sit up, I grabbed him by the arm and dragged him across the room, opened the door, pulled him up to his feet and pushed him out of the room.

He slowly sat up, and I could tell I ticked him off since I could see his whole body shaking in anger. He seems to be fighting off the urge to let the mutagen take control, controlling his anger...I really hate seeing him struggle like this.

I decided to be nice to calm his nerves, "I just want you to go to Splinter so he doesn't get mad."

It seemed to do the trick, he turned and faced me while wiping sweat off his forehead, "but why?"

"I have nightly mediations with him" I muttered.

He took a deep breath and gave me a confused look, "how come you and Splinter have never told me?"

I just rolled my eyes, "it's embarrassing."

"Well I think it's good for you" he smiled.

"Of course you would think so" I grumbled, "now since you like mediation, why don't you just go then."

"Well, I need the mediation anyways" he responds, "this has been a stressful day."

I just nodded in agreement.

As he walked off he smiled and gave thumbs up, saying, "proud of you little brother."

I felt a smile creep on my mouth when he said that; that being the first time he said that to me in years.

But it was wiped off as soon as I thought about this whole situation; and how much pain he must be going through. The stress of just walking, having to be angry just so the mutagen keeps giving energy, to be a slave to the mutagen. I was starting to think maybe switching bodies was a good idea, so I can live life like my brothers, but that means Leo would have to take my place and struggle. I don't want Leo to struggle, Mikey, and even Donnie too to go through that. The burden of controlling the beast inside isn't the best job for me, but I would rather have that job than let anyone else suffer instead.

Real reason I don't want Donnie's help is not only because I'm mad at him, but I don't want him and the others know about the mutagen. I know if it gets out, Splinter will have to tell Leo about what he has to deal with inside my body, which means he will tell Don and Mikey to help him. I begged and cried for him not to tell when he first des covered my problem, but with Leo, since he's Splinter's favorite, will do anything to help him.

I held back tears that threatened to come out, "I have to find a quick way to switch us back, without Donnie."

"So I guess that includes me then" I heard from behind me.

That sound of that voice, it wreaks with annoyance.

I turned around, seeing that I was correct, it's Donnie's clone.

The clone gave a devious smile, "so, I heard that you and Leo switched bodies."


	6. Leo's Meditation

**It has been a while since I've updated this story, and it feel very bad about it, but don't worry! Its almost summer, which means a lot more writing! I'm making this story into two parts, the second part of this will be shorter, but that's my invention. My other story 'Don't Lose Hope' is going to be one long story. And I'm going to start one more story, the title going to be 'Traitor', either today, or in the next few days, because I'm trying to put some writing in while I'm studying for finals.**

**Sorry for any mistakes in here! I really wanted to get this posted up**

**Anyway, enough of my rambling, sorry for taking a long time to update this, and hope you enjoy :)**

**Let me know what you think!**

* * *

><p>Leonardo's POV<p>

"So Raphael" Master Splinter says to me, as I take in deep breathes, eyes closed, having to remind myself that I'm in Raph's body.

"Yes Master Splinter" I say politely, opening one eye to look at him, seeing that he has a worried expression on his face.

Which is worrying me.

"You were late" he says, "you know every night that we have these meditations, what kept you?"

I have no idea what to say. That I this is actually Leonardo? That I let myself fail and get angry, and decided to fight Raph as well? That I feel sick and tired with every step that I take?

I would say these things, but I promised Raph. Believe it or not, he's that hardest to say no to out of all my brothers, ever since we were little.

Heck, even Master Splinter has a hard time as well.

"Well" I start to explain, and say what Raph would say, "Leonardo was being the selfish leader that he is" while saying this my stomach turns in knots, "and decided that he was going to be the better person, to make himself feel better, and apologize."

I really hope I sounded like him.

He gave me a disappointed look, which means that I think I sounded just like Raph.

"Why a sudden change to anger?"

Eh?

"Normally you would admit your anger, has it became stronger?"

Raphael admit his wrong doings, oh this is going to be rich when I tell him.

Wait, what does he mean 'it' has become stronger?

I gave him a confused look, too scared that I'm going to say the wrong thing.

"Raphael, I know you get hesitant when I bring this up, but I have told you many times that you can say anything to me."

I'm just confused, so I just nod my head.

"I know you are frighten by this" he says in a gentle tone, like he's trying to baby Raph, well me.

I wonder if Master Splinter talks to him like this in private a lot, because all I hear is Raph getting scolded by him on a daily bases.

"But the only way we can beat this is if we talk and go through this together, and maybe your brothers sometime soon."

Wait a minute, this sounds oddly familiar.

-flashback-

_I was eight years old. It was in the middle of the night when I heard crying. Lots of it._

_I opened my eyes to see that Raphael, who at this point in time my brothers and I all shared the same room, wasn't there. I looked around the room to see Donnie awake, looking freaked out, and Mikey laid curled up in a ball and was leaning up right up against Donnie, his whole body shaking._

_I decided to get up and investigate, wondering why Master Splinter hasn't checked in on us or hasn't stopped the mysterious crying, I had the mindset that if he wasn't going to stop it, then I would be next in line to protect my brothers. I wanted to find my fragile little brother._

_While walking around; I realized that the sound of crying was coming from Master Splinter's room. As quietly as I could I snuck up to the cracked door and peeked in. Raphael was down on his knees in front of Splinter, head to the ground, his tiny hands gripping Splinter's ankles, his whole entire body shaking. I could tell he was crying, he tried to stop by the many deep breathes that he was taking, a few times he seemed like he had a hard time breathing. I desperately wanted to go and comfort my brother, hating to see him cry, but what stopped me was when Master Splinter bent down on his knees, he unhooked Raph's hands off his ankles._

_"My son" he says in a soothing voice, giving Raph a sympathetic look, "I need you to sit up."_

_"NO" Raph snapped, voice raised, "n-not until y-y-you p-promise me to n-not t-tell!"_

_"But my son" Splinter replies, "the only way we can get through this together is to let your brother's know sometime soon, maybe when we wake up in the morning."_

_Raph refused to look up, "no!"_

_"You had a terrible nightmare, I think your brother's deserve to know."_

_"NO!"_

_"Why my son, you woke up coming to me with tears, you told me that you killed people in your dream, and that you were scared of the fact that you didn't feel bad when you woke up, like the many other times" he explains, and I could feel tears dripping down my cheeks as I was staring at my brother._

_"I don't want them to see me like this" Raph yelled, no more tears, but I could tell that his eyes were wide, bloodshot._

_He continues, "it's nobody's responsibility to watch over me, it's my duty to watch everyone else. My body may be weak, but that won't stop me from doing my duty to this family, which is protect this family from outsiders and myself, even if it means having to destroy myself!"_

_"Don't say such things" Master Splinter says, his voice starting to get stern, "You don't need to do this on your own."_

_"Why not" Raph snaps back, snapping his head up and looked at Splinter in the eyes, anger is now all I see in his eyes, "I don't need anyone babying me anymore, I'm sick of it. I need to pull my weight in this family, no more sitting out sick just because you don't want to stress me, no more laying sick in bed and having you worry about taking care of me when you should be training! I'm not going to cry anymore!"_

_Splinter looked at Raph in shock, surprised that Raph raised his voice, and I was shocked about that too since Raph has never raised his voice at Splinter before. At this point in time he was the goody two-shoes, always seeming to try and please everyone, when all in reality he was stressing himself out, crying, and hardly couldn't do anything on his own without the assistance of others._

_It annoyed me, Mikey, and especially Donnie. Needless to say we weren't that very nice to him, but he still loved us, although it is hard to know if he still does._

_He took everyone's crap._

_"Please" he begged to Splinter, clamping his hands together, looking at Master Splinter with pleading eyes._

_I knew, especially when we were younger, that Splinter had a hard time saying no to Raph. I could tell by the look on his face that he didn't know what to say, which rarely happens._

_After a moment of silence, Raph added, "I promise I won't cry anymore, I promise to work hard. I won't shed a tear, I will fight hard and will beat my nightmares!"_

_Splinter said yes._

_Thing is, Raph kept his promise. Although I don't know about the nightmare parts of it, which I don't know if he still has them since we don't share a room and doesn't share personal things. He did and is working hard, everyday._

_And I haven't seen him shed a tear since that day._

-Flashback Over-

I almost completely forgot that even happened. I have so much questions.

About the nightmares.

About not crying.

About not letting Mikey, Donnie, and I in his personal life.

About what Raph is trying to so hard to hide from us, so far as willing as too put himself under so much stress.

About if this is the reason why he is angry all the time.

He seemed so desperate in that flashback that he was willing to get on his knees and literally bow down to Splinter, which isn't something he did, even as a young kid.

Believe me, on the days he had the strength to play games with us, he wouldn't bow down to any of us; and we were just pretending to be kings!

"Are you alright" Master Splinter asked in a worried tone, staring at me with concern.

"Uh" I start off saying, not feeling like meditating anymore, I feel like running over to Raph and give him a big hug. And after he tries to punch me I will ask him about that night, and ask him every question that pops in my head. I've always known that Raph has always been a bit sick, and that just might be what I'm feeling right now since I feel like vomiting, and this actually might be fate that this happened.

Finally getting to connect with my baby brother.

Before Splinter can question me any further, I slowly started to stand up, almost falling over from feeling dizzy. Splinter hopped to my aid in a flash, right by my side.

"I think I've had a good mediation father" and I couldn't help but notice that Splinter shocked when I said that, "I've had some good mediation, but I'm going to head to bed" lying about going to bed.

I stumbled out of the room before anything else was said, feeling the adrenaline kick in my body. I'm ready to talk to my brother, I'm ready to take an advantage of this happening to spend time with Raphael. I swear I'm wearing the biggest and goofiest smile, but I was too happy and full of energy to care.

I ran over to the my room, which Raphael should be in, and slammed it open, feeling my big smile slip as I saw that he wasn't in the room. I would have checked his room, but then I noticed that my swords, that usually hang on the wall, was gone. I knew I left it there and haven't touched it since before I passed out, which means one thing;

Raphael left the sewers.


	7. Predictable

**-Sorry I took so long, so much all going on at once, glad my grandma is out of the hospital, but still more drama , which sucks :/. But I promise that I will put up a few more chapters from all of my stories throughout the next few days!**

**Please let me know what you think! :)**

Dark Donatello's (Donnie's Clone) POV

-Flashback-

It's raining outside, my pulse is racing, my body's trembling with fear as I stare up at the gang standing above me.

This is what I get for not listening to Donatello.

Everyone fell asleep, even Donatello, who usually stays up all day and night working on inventions. I just wanted to have a taste of freedom, I wanted to know what it was like to be above the sewers. I stole Donatello's staff, and I watched him practice, so I will know how to somewhat fight if I ran into any danger.

I guess I lost sight of hiding, and just stood out in sight, in the alleyway, where gang members knocked me to the ground.

"Look at this thing, hideous" one of them laughed, the others nodding and laughing along with him.

I thought humans were nice.

I mean, I'm half human...ish, but all in all, the book I read depicted humans as nice creatures.

I guess I was wrong, it was a little kids book that Donatello read to me.

That might've been bad assumption.

"I-I'm not ugly, I'm perfect the way I am" I say, not as confident as I should have been.

I always thought that Donatello lied when he said that being the only kind of our species gets difficult, and told me that I was perfect the way I was, and I always told myself that. He always told himself that, I could tell he has some issues on being the very four (now five) of our kind, usually when I see him staring at a picture of a girl named April a lot, who is a human.

"Did you mommy and daddy tell you that" they taunted me, pulling out, what looked like a weapon, what I heard Raphael say he thought that were weapons for people who didn't know how to fight or can't fight very well, a gun.

I was on the verge of tears, not expecting to face so much hurt, so much ridicule. Why are humans cruel?

I didn't even do much but just say hello, and they jumped on me.

They all surrounded me in a circle, and one by one, they all pounced on me, taking turns punching and kicking me, and I was powerless and unable to fight back. Donatello's staff was on the other side of the alleyway, and that's all I knew how to fight.

I balled as they kept beating me senseless, unable to hold back any tears.

Am I imperfect?

Am I weak?

Why are humans the dominate species, they are cruel.

My mind just raced, I felt an uncontrollable rush of energy rush throughout my body and before I completely lost control, my eyes landed on the gun of the guy who came up to beat me.

Everything was a blur, all I remember is standing, gun in hand.

Bodies laid on the ground, pools of blood all around me and on me. My body shook, but it was from the fear of not feeling bad for what I've done. This made me cry even more.

Why don't I feel bad?

I backed myself against the concrete wall and eyed the bodies before me, my body suddenly becoming weak, slowly lowering myself to the ground to prevent any further injury.

Why don't I feel bad?

Maybe I shouldn't care if I don't, they were hurting me, and I'm to defend myself when attacked. I'm innocent, they were the one's who decided to attack me when I just wanted peace.

Maybe they did deserved.

Wait, they did deserve it.

There is nothing wrong with me, I'm perfect the way I am.

They deserved it.

-End of Flashback-

Raphael's POV

Donnie's clone and I are standing on top of a building, standing above an alleyway. Both of us examining three gang members, all talking with each other in the dark alleyway.

I agreed to go outside with him, one because I wanted some fresh air, and two I want him to keep quite about Leo and I's situation. He said he just wants to talk, and I don't know what we are going to talk about, we've hardly said a word to each other.

Whatever it is, I want him to keep the gun, which I don't know where he got it from, pointed away from me.

"Now watch" he finally says, his voice noticeably lower than Donnie's, wearing an evil grin, " I wanna try something that I saw on TV."

"What show did you see it from" feeling a bit un at ease with the gun drawn out.

He raised the gun in the air, and unlocked it, "it's based off a book that this brilliant scientist wrote, 'HUMANS' by Dr. Kenliths, the master of the human mind" he explained.

"He is the host of it too, obviously, and runs many tests on humans, testing on how far he can push the human mind. He can literally predict what a person is going to do and say just by evaluating the persons personality and how they deal with stress, watching the persons body language is also a key element as well, but sadly" then he gives an annoyed look as he analyzes a group of gang members, "the showed was canceled because they thought the show was cruel and it was fake."

I was about to say something, but then he snapped his head towards me, "and no, it's not fake, I've tested these before, but I've mainly tested predictions."

I raised an eye, "on who", knowing what he was probably going to say.

"I can tell by the look in your eyes that you know I tested it on you and the others" he smiled, "my conclusions were right every time."

I'm glad that I don't have the extra mutagen in me right now, because I would have lost it. I balled my fists and gave him a glare, "what exactly did you do?"

He gave the gun a small twirl, his smile growing, "I knew you were going to ask that, and I will gladly tell you."

I cross my arms.

He keeps twirling the gun, "well, you and the others were the closest to human I could get for a while, so the four of y'all were perfect. Now remember when you thought Mikey put one of Donatello's devices in a pie, that was for you."

My mouth twitched, "I knew something was off, bu-"

"But you thought it smelled good and you were hungry" he completes my sentence for me, "I know how you and Mikey usually interact just by watching from Donatello's lab. I knew that you liked pie, lime to be specific, and I knew I predicted that with your highly aggressive attitude, and Mikey's love for pranks on you, that you would chase him around the house and beat him up."

I glared at him, "I beat h-"

"Beat him up for no reason" he finishes up for me again, really starting to getting irritable.

"And I know that I'm irritating you right now, but trust me, I did way more experiments on Leo than I did on any of you guys" and he grows a evil smile, "his suffering was my enjoyment."

Him being Donnie's clone, I would have expected him to act just like him, and him and Leo would be the best of friends. He's acting a lot like me then any of the others, which is the weirdest thing ever in my opinion since me and Donnie are almost complete opposites. With my actual brother I don't even feel related, I feel more related to his clone.

Which is just sad.

"Which at first it confused me when I met you and Leonardo personally" he explains, still twirling the gun, "you two acted opposite in body language, that I was actually nervous to fight you, but after learning the deep dark secret of you and Leo, everything make sense."

"It's confusing as hell" I spat.

He chuckles, " no offense, but since your in Leo's body, I really want to punch you in the face."

I chuckle back, "I really want to as well" wincing as I shifted my hurt leg.

"Glad we are on the same page" and turns his attention from me to the gang of three guys in the alleyway, "how about I do another expierment."

I looked at the gun in his hand that he was still twirling, holding back the urge to tackle him and take the gun away from him, since I can't really trust being around him with a weapon, "are you going to shoot anyone?"

He knew that I felt uneasy with the gun, and just keeps on smiling, "no, if I wanted to kill them, I would have done it already, and why would I want to kill anyone anyways?"

As cool as he can be, I can see the gleam in his eyes when the word 'kill' was mentioned; sadistic prick.

I roll my eyes.

"Now look" he points to the three gang members, "I bet you a box of pizza that I can predict their reactions and what they will say, just by looking at body language."

I never back down from a bet and as usual, I take the opposing side, "there is no way."

"I bet that if I shoot this gun right here and right now, that the first guy" and uses his free hand and points at a grumpy old looking guy, covered in tattoos, "look how mad he looks, the glare he's giving, his hands positioned to his sides with fists balled."

I nod in response.

"I bet that he will jump, pull out a weapon of some sort, and scream out 'I will catch you little bitch' or 'I'm going to kill you when I find you'. He will eye every little inch of this alleyway, try to look all tough with a wild look in his eyes."

He then points to a very tall and lanky guy, short blond hair, one tattoo of a purple dragon running down his right arm, " See how his whole body is shaking, the crazy look in his petrified eyes, his pupil dilated into a small dot to were you can barley see it. His fingers twitching, eyes twitching as well, he's nervous, and I can bet money that he's a brand new member. He's going to scream like a little girl, try to pull pit a weapon, but drop it and start running."

"Now the last guy" and he points a good looking man, black spiked hair, has more muscles than the tall lanky guy, but has less than the mad looking man. His dark brown eyes eyeing the whole alleyway, as he is talking about a plan of some sort, "him, he's going to handle it the calm and cool way, almost unpredictable, but he's going to try to keep his team in line by saying things like, 'don't lose your cool', 'stand and fight', 'I'm the leader and will be instructed to do as your told' while the scardy cat runs off, and him and the older man will argue about who's in charge, who does what, who is the better fighter, and will end up losing it and start fighting each other."

Then looks up at me, "sounds familiar, doesn't it."

I couldn't hold back as I threw a punch at him, him scooting his head without hesitation to his side, and I held back from throwing another punch.

Still smiling, "saw it coming before you even thought of doing it" and before I could insult him, he turns back to three gang members, "let the games begin!"

He twirls the gun at a rapid speed, throwing it up in the air. Right when he caught it with grace, and pointed it at the gang members, a loud popping sound was made as he shot the bullet, leaving a ringing. I saw the bullet leave a mark in the wall, realizing that the mark in the wall was right next to the head if the black spiked haired guy.

"What are you trying to do, kill them" I nearly screamed, feeling my eyes popping out of my head, my body shaking as I feel myself getting angrier.

He lifted a finger and without looking at me, he didn't hesitate to put it against my mouth, and it took every bit of energy to not scream and argue with him.

He just stared at the humans with such interest, like he thinks humans are entertainment, smiling, "you need to watch, I'm right, I'm always right, and humans are so predictable."

I look at the three men, the angry one grew angrier and shout the exact sentence the Donnie's clone predicted.

"I'm going to kill you when I find you" and pulled out a large knife.

The tall lanky guy jumped and screamed, trying to pull out of what it looks like to be a gun, but his hands are shaking so much, that the gun fumbles out of his hands. He looks at the other two before running off.

Donnie's clone just laughs.

I roll my eyes and turn my attention back to the two gang members.

"We need to stand and fight" the black spiked haired guy says, rolling his eyes as the tall lanky guy exits the alleyway corner.

"Why should I" the older guy retorts, "it's your fault for not being a good leader and paying attention."

I could tell the blacked spiked hair guy was losing his cool, "I'm your leader, you will do as I say and fight, which means no arguing with me."

"I can argue all I want, I should be the one who's in charge of our group, I'm a way better fighter, therefore a better leader."

"Being a better fighter doesn't make you a leader, but your in no position to say your a better fighter, I am!"

"Says who" and points the knife at the guy.

He looks at the older man, anger in his eyes as he pulls out a knife, "says our leader who put me charge of our small group!"

Next thing I knew, they started to try and slice each other with their knifes.

I felt a giggle forcing its way through my mouth, barley being able to hold it back.

"Haha" Donnie's clone laughed, so much that tears are pouring out of his eyes.

"What so funny about this" I raised an eye, although I'm trying to hold back from laughing as well, and I strangely don't feel bad about it, which I've felt every time I fight villains alongside my brothers, ever since I was little.

But I want to do the right thing, to prove to Splinter that I can do good on my own.

Being Leo's body is helping out some of keeping my sadistic urges at bay.

So, I kind of...sort of...lied.

"I can't find anything funny about people fighting, they are trying to kill each other."

He took a deep breath from laughing, "them killing each other isn't my problem."

"It should" I snapped, almost letting out a giggle, "don't you care that people are trying to kill each other?"

"If they are dumb enough to fight over who is a better fighter" he responds, and says in a cold tone, "then they deserve whatever happens to them."

I can't help but feel the same way...

"We should stop the fight, before they kill each other!"

"They deserve what's coming to them" Don's clone responds, wearing a sadistic smile, "they are gang members, they do bad things, them getting killed is bound to happen."

I can't believe this guy, I believe whatever is coming to them too, I want to tear them into shreds, but I want to do the right thing for Master Splinter and my brothers.

Which includes Donnie's clone as well.

"You either stop the fight, or I will" I gritted my teeth, pulling out one of the Katana's, putting it up against his throat.

He scowls, staring at the gang members for a moment as they fight. He lets out a big sigh, pushes the Katana away from him, pulling the gun up, "bet you another box of pizza that when I shoot this a second time, they are both going to run."

And didn't even give me a chance to respond as he shot the bullet, landing in the same spot.

As he predicted, again, they both just make a run for it.

Donnie's clone has some problems.

But what I'm going to do is be nice to him, and hope that he might help me get back into my old body, while I try to find out how Donnie created him, and help get this guy fixed.

Maybe I might have my problem fixed too.

I cross my arms, biting my lip, "so, you must have something important to tell me to bring me above surface, or unless this is it."

He just grinned, "oh, don't act like you didn't like the blood shed that was going to come if those two continued to fight, I could see it in your eyes that you enjoyed the fighting."

I gulped and avoided eye contact with him, hating that he is right, "in your dreams. So do you have something to talk with me about, or not?"

I could feel his eyes staring deep into my soul, like I can't hide anything from him. I slowly turned my head and looked at him, his eyes meeting mine, his smile growing bigger.

"You and I have a lot to talk about" and wrapped an arm around my shoulders, "but first, you owe me two boxes of pizza."


	8. Fear

**Sorry for taking so long, now that I have less stress going on in my life, I should be able to update more often, thank you for putting up with me, and I will update Traitor very soon, along with another story, love writing stories!**

**Please let me know what you think! :)**

Donatello's POV

"Where could he be" I mumbled to myself, searching every inch of my lab, which I wasn't supposed to be in, but all I'm doing is trying to find my clone.

After going through that chaos, my Clone told me he would hang out in the lab and get some stuff done for me, which sounded good since he usually does that. He came in an gave me a drink and talked to me for a little bit, then the next thing I knew I feel asleep. I knew he put something in that drink, because a soon as I tasted it it gave a weird taste, and I felt something off about it; I would have questioned him him then and there if I had the strength to even speak.

I knew he did it once before, because the next thing I knew he was bruised and looked beaten up, and the drink had a weird taste too; and almost everything about him just seemed different.

He used to awkward, nice, caring, and smart; now he's negative, angry, cold-hearted, and smart.

Not the safest combination for a being.

Now that I'm awake, and angry, I'm searching this house as much as I can while trying to avoid waking Splinter up. I would go for Leo, but he's injured and acting weird, and Raph probably went above surface, and he wouldn't help me anyway. I would love to find my Clone before Leo goes and nags Raph about being out late and by himself.

He's been very paranoid lately, especially towards Raph, I've questioned him once but then he passed out and fought with Raph right when he woke up. Once he would get the slightest suspicion that Raph went out on his own, out goes any rational thinking, other than him saying over and over again to him

"I'm just trying to protect you."

He, along with Raph, have been on edge lately. Raph has gotten more violent than he has before, anti-social, and just flat out out of control. You can't do anything with him, Splinter seems to have trouble with him too, and just seems very worried for him, like now more than ever. I know Raph is hiding something, I think Splinter knows too and isn't saying anything, and I'm going to get to the bottom of it.

I don't care how mad he is at me.

I don't blame him for being pissed off at me for me embarrassing him, I wasn't thinking straight and was jealous. I need to apologize, and have tried, but after embarrassing him he just avoids me every time I get near him.

And for the fact that he scares me.

"NO, LET ME OUT" I hear Raph scream.

I was sitting on my knees at that moment, looking under one of my desk when he screamed, scaring me and made me jump. I ended up banging my head, shouting out a word that Master Splinter would scolded me if he heard me use, and rubbed my head. I then stood up, wobbling for a second as I can feel my head starting to hurt.

Then it occurred to me; Raph is actually still home?

Oh no, he's fighting with Leo!

I yanked my lab doors open and sprinted to Raph's room first. When I reached his room and realized that no one was in there, my next option is Leo's room.

This is not good; both of them are injured and they don't need to be fighting again. They got physical earlier, which was just sudden, and I know they will do it again.

"I WONT LET YOU DO THAT TO HIM" I hear Raph scream again, and at this point I'm surprised that Splinter, Mikey, and especially Leo aren't up right now.

It's pretty easy to wake Splinter.

"I WILL KILL YOU IF YOU LAY A FINGER ON MY BROTHER!"

What's going on in there?

"NO!"

I finally reached Leo's room, not even going to bother knocking, and slammed it open. I was surprised to see Raph was in the room by himself, backed up into a corner, staring at the door with wide eyes, his eyes blood red.

Not again.

He growls at me, looking me up and down with such hostility; making me want out of the room.

I don't want to get hurt again, this hasn't happened in years.

"S-S-S-Splinter" I stutter, practically squeaking, my heart racing as he creeps closer towards me.

He then let's out a roar, backing up closer to the door, "S-Splinter" I say louder, unable to keep my eyes off of my possessed brother.

He then starts jumps on me.

"SPLINTER!"

Leonardo's POV

Everything just went back, hearing random voices, sounding just like the Shredder. He hasn't got out of my head since I found my Katana's missing, which just sent my mind into overdrive.

First I hear strange whispers, next thing I knew I see the Shredder one moment, and then gone the next. He says things about Raph, threatens to hurt him; to kill him. It got to a point that I just start screaming at him, the room starts fading and turning into black, which I just panicked even more, I wasn't thinking straight, I could feel my blood pumping through my body at a rapid pace.

Now it's pitch black.

The voices of Shredder won't stop.

_'I will kill him'_

_'I want his power'_

_'I will do anything to gain his power, I don't care if it leads to his death.'_

_'He will be dead' _

_'He will die'_

_'Die'_

_'Die'_

_'Die'_

I crouch down to my knees slamming my hands onto my head, slamming my head on the dark floor.

"STOP" I plead, full of frustration, "my brother won't die!"

"I highly doubt that."

My eyes nearly bugged out of my head, hearing this voice in particular making my how body freeze, my heart pounding twice as hard, the blood pumping twice as hard. This wasn't like the thousand whispers the flooded my head, no, this one is different; it sounded like he was actually there.

Right in front of me.

"You heard what I said on the rooftops before you and your brothers managed to take me down" he explains in a cold tone, I slowly raise myself up walk backwards, staring wide eyed at him, not taking my eyes off of him "I need his power in order to destroy all of you turtles once and for all, and I will personally make sure you witness your brother's demise."

I just shake my head, "I won't let you!"

He just cackles, "eventually you will both be back in the same bodies, and then who will stop your bother from causing his own demise."

"No, I won't " having him step closer to me, fear almost completely consuming me.

"You will be responsible for your brother's death, for not telling him to watch out for me" his voice getting louder and louder with every word, and every one of those words digs itself into my brain.

It scares me on how much this rings true, Raph just thinks I'm being a control freak, which lately I have to admit I am, and not knowing my reasons. I should know how Raph is, he won't listen to me, rather anyone, unless he finds it worth listening to, which you can really only do if it is about Splinter, the Shredder, or if any of us are hurt.

I'm so stupid.

I won't let this fear consume me, I need to buck up and be the leader that Splinter appointed me to be. I don't want to let him, nor my baby brothers, down.

I stare at the Shredder, his words starting to slur, the constant whispers fade, and color starts to come back to my surroundings. The figure of the Shredder discentagrated in front of me, and couldn't help be give a big sigh.

I blinked my eyes, and the next thing I know I'm on top of Donnie. One of my hands was on his neck, the other one being held back by someone, I couldn't tell, nor did I really care, because I was too busy staring in horror at Donnie's bruised and bloodied up face.

He looked so scared, so hurt, his tears getting mixed in with the blood as it dribbles down his cheek. He is taking deep breathes, his whole body trembling under mine. I was just in shock of this whole situation, my body completely frozen, I didn't know what to do, what to make of this situation.

I don't have an explanation for all the stuff that is happening.

This is Raph's body, and this has never happened to me before but it has with him, he would know.

I need answers; because I don't think I forgive myself for letting this happen.

Right when I blinked I was thrown into someone's body, it felt put all furry...Splinter. He got a good grip on me, wrapping his arms around my body, hitting my pressure point around my neck, sending my body I to spastic mess, my whole body freezing up and fell to the ground.

Splinter leans over me and whispers something to me, but I didn't hear him as I stared at Mikey leaning over Donnie, helping him up. Mikey looked at me with a scared expression for a second, but once he saw that I was looking right at him, he quickly avoided eye contact and moved his eyes behind him.

"Help me" Mikey says, I can tell he wanted to separate himself from me as fast as he could, "please Leo."

That caught my attention and looked behind Mikey, looking at the two figures; Donnie's Clone and Raph...in my body.

Donnie's Clone rolled his eyes but accepted, kneeling down to help carry Donnie, pushing Raph to the side and carried Donnie out. Raph didn't even move, he just stared right at me, both of us making eye contact. He was frozen right on the spot, he just stared at me wide eyed, not even blinking, the only movement I could see with his heavy breathing.

Once I got some feeling in my arms back, I reached out to him; "h-help me."

Splinter was going to say something, but Raph just sprinted out of the room.

Does he think I'm a monster?


	9. Memories and New Problems

**For those who are still reading, I apologize for my absence! I have had so much going on with my family that I've had to put off writing and posting. I miss writing these that I found time and finished writing this chapter! I have more free time now, but when I post will be unpredictable; I may post two or three chapters within a two-three day period, I may only post once a week, or maybe even a few weeks to a month (though I hate doing that, so I will do my best to play catch up). **

**So without further or do, I present the next chapter! **

**Please let let me know what you think! :); p.s.- sorry for any mistakes, will fix them when I can!**

~Raphael's POV~

~A Week Later~

-Flashback-

"I don't see how meditating helps with my problem" I complain, like I do every night for the past few years; sitting on the floor with my legs crossed.

And he responds with his usual answer, "it relaxes and calms the mind, something that helps keep the mutagen inside you from taking over."

I roll my eyes as usual, getting bored and irritated of this crap. That's all I've been doing with him, mediating until I (which I have yet to achieve) perfect peace; not struggling with the monster, but I'm not physically exhausted at the same time; to be normal.

So far I've had no progress; and I've done this since I was eight...I'm eleven...three years with no progress.

"Can we do something different father, something more physical" I suggested, "because mediating isn't working."

He looked at me hesitantly, not saying anything for a moment, "I'm afraid doing something physical will over stress you."

"Father, I thought we talked about this when I was eight" I growled, hating to repeat myself, "I will do anything , I don't care how stressed I get!"

I felt my blood boil, the adrenaline and anger wanting to be released, and as a nasty habit I do to stop the monster I dig my fingers into my skin; my knees, which I've been scratching up my knees so much that that I practically mutilated them...look very nasty.

I stopped when Splinter gave me an intense stare, which I gave him a smile.

He knows my habits too well.

"I'm ok, I really am" I assure him, but it was a lie...I felt like I wanted beat _someone...for_ some odd reason hitting and screaming gives me pleasure and an adrenaline rush.

It's scary.

He still looked like he didn't believe me, but surprisingly he nodded his head, "we will try it, but if something goes wrong, we go back to mediating."

I grinned, "deal!"

I felt so happy that I jumped to my feet, energy surging through me.

"Now son, we will go over the basics, like we usually do in practice" he he says, holding out his staff while I took out my Sai and twirled it, giving a wicked grin, "start off slow."

I frowned, "start off slow...that's for practice."

"Yes, this is practice" he responded, continuing to stare at me intensely, watching my every move.

That made me feel uncomfortable, as much as I hate being stared at, that wasn't the thing that was bothering me; it was the reason why he watched my every move; like I'm going to attack him.

Do I scare him?

I decided not to ask him the question, "but father, when I go into battle, there won't be any warm-ups, I need to know how to fight without having to go through a pep talk and practice."

"But you don't need to just jump into battle, you need to think and strategize."

I think I know where this conversation is going to head to, "what, like Leo" raising an eye at him.

"Yes, but don't take it the wrong way" and starts to explain, "I love you just the way you are and I'm not trying to compare the two of you at all; but that's something he's learned that you haven't yet."

I roll my eyes, not believing him; he adores Leo. I work just as hard as Leo does, and I can't seem to be the favorite in father's eyes. These mediations mean nothing other then I won't kill him and my brothers, he cares more for Leo than he does me.

That angers me.

So without warning, I lunge at Splinter and swing my Sai, having it blocked with a swift movement by him, easily blocking my attack. I jump back, feeling the energy starting to surge through me at an alarming pace; gritting my teeth while trying to fight back. I squeezed my Sai so hard that my knuckles started to turn white, and lash at Splinter again, easily dogging my attack.

"I can do it, I will win" I tell myself.

But I don't know if I can.

The mutagen is starting to take over, I can barley fight it off.

"Raphael, stay calm, the mutagen won't win if you keep a cool head" he instructs me, staying in a fighting position.

"THEN STOP DOGGING SO I CAN HIT YOU" I, or rather the mutagen itself, screamed at him while I'm still barley holding on, swinging my Sai at him again; almost hitting him as he was caught off guard.

I couldn't blame him; I sound like a mixture of a deep voiced monster, and my own voice.

Fighting off the monster was agonizingly painful, my whole body was a spastic mess, head pounding, heart beating rapidly, the energy level of the mutagen was really high. I couldn't stand anymore as my vision blurred, and dropped to my knees.

_'He doesn't love you as much as he loves Leo!'_

_'Your own father is afraid of you!'_

_'He doesn't love you!'_

I felt like I wanted to cry, tears threatened to come out, but I remembered the promise I made to Splinter; I won't cry!

_'Crybaby!'_

"I'm no crybaby" I scream back at the voices, "I'm not going to cry!"

"Keep a calm head" I hear Splinter say, although his voice was very faint, and I opened my eyes, and to my horror I was in a pitch black room.

That means the mutagen won.

"But I don't know if I can" I cry out to Splinter's faint voice, "I don't know how to!"

I got up from my knees, not knowing what to do; how was I supposed to keep a clam head, I'm probably tearing up my whole home right now. I could be attacking Splinter and my brothers; how am I supposed to stay calm.

_'You can't' _the voice cackled; and I snapped my head to try and find the source of the voices. I don't know if it's just my imagination or if the mutagen is talking, because the voices sound just like me, although it took me a while, I've had to listen closely.

Am I saying all these stuff about me?

Or is the mutagen playing tricks on me?

Sometimes I don't know what is real anymore; if Splinter actually loves me, or if he just tolerates me. That he loves taking care of me, or am I just a burden. Do my brothers want me around, or if they act like they do; although sometimes they express I annoy them.

I would've been dead by now if the accident never happened; I wonder if father knew that...

_'Come on little Raphie, you know you're different, you don't need them because they don't appreciate your talents, they deserve to be taken out.'_

Not the voices again!

"I'm not going to let you take out my family" I scream at the top of my lungs, taking a deep breath and closed my eyes.

Keep a calm mind, is that all I need to do?

I will try, clear my mind of everything that troubles me, focus on the positives.

An image of my family all together, smiling, all of them clearly laughing at something Mikey said; I could feel a smile creep on my face. Just my family, although I have doubts if they love me or not, I can't help but love them, they are the most important beings in the world to me.

They are the only friends I have.

I can hear the voices fade out; the last one said in my voice,_ 'sadly _

_they don't feel the same about you.'_

Just try to ignore the voices.

I opened my eyes to see that I'm back, I'm in control again. I started to smile as I see my surroundings, glad that I'm out of that nightmare.

"I-I did it father" I start to shout happily, normally he would have to knock me out when I'm in the process of losing control, or when I have lost control, so this is my first time actually fighting it off instead of bending to it's will.

"I-" but that's when I notice father's legs shaking, holding his side.

This had me worried and ran to him, but as I got right in front of him, I notice blood starting to seep through his robe, his hand covering most of it. He held a hand right in front of me to stop me from getting closer; which at this point I was frozen in fear and was afraid to even move, afraid that I was going to hurt him if I touched him.

"F-f-fa-t-ther" I stuttered, noticing my Sai on the ground next to him, covered in blood, slowly looking back at him as the realization hit me...

I did this to him.

I couldn't say anything, my mind racing, freaking out on what Splinter will do with me now. I'm not a good son, I stabbed my own father...what will my brothers think about me when they hear about this?

What's going to happen to me; what will father think about me?

"Raphael, don't blame your-" but I just turn and ran.

I don't even deserve to be called his son.

-End Of Flashback-

I wake up, nearly screaming. Gasping. Sweating. Shaking.

On the verge of tears.

Another nightmare that won't escape my mind. I have it every night, and gets more painful as I relive it.

Seeing Leo let himself get taken over by the mutagen was more than I could bare. Seeing Donnie on the verge of unconsciousness, battered and bruised, unable to defend himself...I had to get away.

I already have beaten him before years ago during a game, but was lucky enough I only landed two hits on him, since Splinter was just in the next room, and Donnie was screeching like a maniac.

He didn't get so lucky with Leo.

I push back my tears, refusing to break the promise I made to him on not crying.

I need to talk to someone, and there is no way in hell I'm talking to Leo; I already have a hard time on trying not to break down when I see him.

And Donnie.

Then it hit me, I still need to drop off the money I made from the fight, not to mention I need to get help continuing to build the machine. Although Don's Clone told me he would build the machine; but says that I didn't have to come along and that I would slow him down; said he needs to concentrate.

In return, I will cover for him if the others ask where he is, and I allow him to take blood samples from my body...I don't know why, but I was desperate and needed to get that machine built.

So many things going on, I need to get away from here and sleep somewhere else.

And I know just the place.

I get out of bed, putting on my outside clothes for when I'm not going to the arena; a giant sweat shirt, sunglasses, and put on a pair of black sweat pants. I grab the Katana's; planning on not even coming back for a day or two.

I will just lie and say that I'm tracking the foot clan, say that I have found some interesting things, and that I got rid of the problem. Splinter won't deny that Leo took them down by himself; Splinter loves that teacher's pet...Splinter junior.

I slowly opened Leo's door and exited; being swift and quick, holding my breath, barley breathing. The last thing I want to do is be confronted by those two.

Ignoring the pain that I still felt in my leg, I went off.

~Leonardo's POV~

Non-stop training and meditating is what I've done this past week, barley taking a break, barley eating, building up my strength to fight off whatever is inside of me. I've barley spoken a word to anyone, only talking to Splinter for the nightly mediations, for which I can see why he does it now; and have learned a thing or two.

Like I, metaphorically, have a monster living inside me...well, thanks extra dose of mutagen. That keeping a calm mind fights it off, since the mutagen does the opposite. That I my brother has practically lived with this his whole life, which I nearly lost it for a moment when I found out, mainly at the fact that my own little brother doesn't trust me enough to tell me.

Which hurts.

I've tried to find out more by asking Splinter, but then it would reveal that I'm actually Leo and not Raph; still keeping my promise to Raph to keep quite about this. The only way is to ask Raph myself, but the moment he sees that we are even in the same room, he makes a run for it. He'll ignore me when I chase him through the hall, he will slam the door in my face when I reach his room, and will ignore my please to talk to him.

He knows I have questions; and I know he is doing everything in his power to avoid those questions I have.

I exit the dojo, turning my head and looked at Splinter out of the corner of my eyes; his back is faced to me, his body shaking, taking off his robe.

Revealing white layers of bandages, wrapped around his stomach...how on earth did that happen?

Seeming that he sensed me staring at him, he says, "it's ok my son, it's not your fault."

I walk off before he could say more.

Not my fault?

What happened?

What on earth is going on in this damn place; Raph and my own father is keeping secrets; what next, Donnie is a robot, or that Mikey's actually highly intelligent and is a spy in his own time?

I take deep breaths to calm myself, feeling the mutagen flow through my veins for a moment.

I hear a little shuffling going on in the living room, catching my attention. I move through the kitchen with quite feet, hiding behind the wall in the kitchen that leads to the living room; peering into the living room.

What's Raph doing up?!

I wanted to march up to him and demand answers on why he wants to run off, another part of me wanted to run up and hug him and tell him how much I want to be with my little brother, and another part of my wants to scream at him and tell him how much he makes me angry. With all my strength I held back; deciding not to charge in for explanations like I usually do, I am going to do something I've never done before.

I'm going to follow him.

~Donnie's Clone POV~

I remove the wrench out of my mouth after setting down the hammer, starting to tighten the next bolt on this contraption. I then put the wrench back into my mouth and picked up the hammer again, slamming it onto the bolt; not taking any chances on the machine exploding on me again.

I hate these damn bolts.

I sat on the ground next to the machine, and grabbed a piece of cloth that I had in my pocket, since I 'borrowed' a pair of overalls, and wiped my sweaty face. Taking in deep breaths, and taking a bite out of the sandwich that Mikey made for lunch, savoring the taste as it was very good...not that I will admit it to him.

Then I know he won't leave me alone.

I've been working on this all night, and looking over at the clock I've set up, it's getting close for me to head home. Not that I'm going to sleep, I'm just going to go to Donatello's lab to test Raph's blood.

I'm making good progress, as I'm feeling like I'm going to reach my goal.

I took his blood sample, which I had to take while he was sleeping, that I kept in a small testing tube. Eyeing the red blood, with green electrical charges surging through the blood; it's beautiful. I do daily samples, which the more blood that I take, the more electrical green I see surging through his blood.

I hate living in that sewer, I hate living with all of them (with the exception of Raph...and Mikey's sandwiches), and Donatello just wants to keep me locked up in a lab...I'm not going to stand for it. I crave a family, one that don't look down at me, I want one to look up to me and I want a purpose; I want to be the leader.

And I'm going to get my own family.

And I will need Raph's blood to do so.

I was so fixated on the test tube, that I didn't even notice that someone else was in the isolated lab. As I snapped my head up to the figure, a foot connected to my face, sending me flying into the already beaten up wall, crashing through it and landed into the next room.

Confused and in pain, feeling my left eye swelling up, I tried to lift myself off the ground, but feeling a sharp pain in my back sent me down on all fours.

"How interesting" I hear a voice say, sounding dark and sinister, "you similar to that purple masked turtle."

Is he talking about Donatello?

Taking a deep breath, I slowly lifted my head while gritting my teeth, to see a giant man.

Well, I can't really say man, he's completely covered in armor, spikes sticking out all over, and is wearing a helmet and a large red cape.

He then held up the test tub that has Raph's blood and says, "And I take it this must be one of those turtle's blood, the red one's, am I right?"

He knows Raph as well?

"How do you know Donatello and Raph" I scream, inching to grab the test tube; Raph's blood has dangerous chemicals in it, that I know something bad is bound to happen if he injects the blood into his body.

He then walks and stands right above me, casting a shadow over me, scarring me to death; feeling like I'm about to be murdered by this guy.

He chuckles, noticing how scared I was, "I'm surprised they haven't told you about me" and kneels down, face inches away from mine, never breaking eye contact.

My heart now pounding at this point.

"I'm the Shredder."


	10. Stubborn

**I'm back, and I promise that I will stay until I finish the story. I finally came to the conclusion that I'm making this into one book, no multiple parts, just this book alone. Wether I plan on a sequel remains to be seen.**

**On the other hand, sorry for my absence. I had way too much going on, had a family member pass away a day after my birthday, and school, and work. But at least I graduated! Work and online classes is what I do now, so I should at least I should be updating once a week, thats my goal. If I do more, yippie, if it takes me a bit longer, oops and will make it up to ya as much as I can!**

**I couldn't figure out a title, so I just figured 'Stubborn' would fit, as everyone in this chapter can be so stubborn :)**

**Anyway, please let me know what you think!**

Donnie's Clone POV

"So I take it this is the red turtle's…Raphael's" the Shredder questioned, lightly swinging the tube of Raph's blood, having to hold myself from snatching it away from him, not wanting him to drop it. Or worse, consume it. This guy seems strong enough; I don't need him being even harder to kill.

"Maybe, maybe not" I respond, glaring daggers at him, "I'm not fond of people barging in while I'm working, so whatever you want is going to have to wait."

The Shredder just seemed amused by what I just said, chuckling while slamming his foot on my head, my head banging on the concrete, my vision going blurry for a second.

"I don't think you're in the position to be telling me what to do" seeing him smiling evilly, his focus on my machine, "what are you building young one?"

"None of your damn business" I say instantly, it's my go to response and seems almost second nature, usually when Donnie asks me what I'm making or doing; the Shredder putting extra pressure to my skull, and I couldn't hold back a groan.

"Don't be rude, I'm just asking a question" he says calmly, "I'm in need of answers that you seem to have, I figured you building the machine and being close to the turtles would make you qualified."

"I'm not exactly close to them, I only like one of them" I muttered, hating the assumption that I'm close to most of those bozos.

"Is that so" seeming that I piqued his interests, which I can't say is a good thing, "may I know who you are speaking of."

Should I or should I not, that is the question.

I already hate humans; him coming in the middle of my work, beating me up and demanding answers isn't helping me like the guy any further. But I guess it doesn't matter that I hate him, all that matters is that he will probably will kill me if I don't give him what he wants…..typical human.

"Raphael" I say in an aggravated tone, feeling him take his foot off my head, pulling me up from the ground and slams me against the wall, gritting my teeth to hold back any cry that was threatening to come out of my mouth.

He places a hand on my plastron to hold me up, "then you might not like what I have to say."

"I haven't liked anything you have said or done since you've been here" closing my eyes and gritting my teeth waiting for another hit, saying what I said out of reflex. Once I didn't feel a hit, I opened my eyes to see him just staring at me, and I couldn't help but cringe a bit as I felt the intensity in his stare.

"I need Raphael's blood."

I raised an eye, "for…?"

"For power, that turtle has been holding back and I've seen his potential when he was attacked by my men by himself, the rage, the power….I want it."

I smirk, "you do too, what a coincidence, although my goal is different from yours."

"How so?"

"You see" I start to explain, gently pushing his hand off of me, "I don't plan on killing him, just the others. I'm using his blood to create other being's similar to myself, which I'm also going to add in with Leo and Mikey's blood into the mix, make a new family that is stronger than the original that I can lead."

He was silent for a moment, probably trying to think how 'stupid' or 'selfish' I sound, I sure know I sound selfish…but I get what I want, and I want my own family. Bye-bye Leo, Splinter and Mikey, and hello to the original Raph, and to Leo and Mikey's clones. Now if I could get this machine finished, get Raph and Leo switched, I can go ahead with that plan.

Basterd is wasting my time.

"I'm going make a proposition with you that you have no choice but to take" he says in a calm manner, seeing the evil glint in his eyes.

I don't think I'm going to like this.

"And if I refuse?"

He gives me a devilish smile, showing me his pearly white sharp teeth, pointing to the machine, "that machine of yours will be destroyed", while saying this I crossed my arms to hide me balling my fists, my eye twitching, biting my lip at the notion that he's going to destroy my hard work, my work that I've been busting my ass for about a week now.

He then points at me, my heart pounding in my chest, "I will make you pay for refusing my offer."

Raphael's POV

I jump down from the building, groaning as I felt my leg throbbing at this point, leaning against the building and taking a couple of deep breaths. I rolled my ankle of my throbbing leg in a circle, going in slow motions, stretching it out a bit. After doing that for a moment, I pulled out the wad of cash that kept in my pants, counting it to make sure I got the right amount, nodding to myself once I was satisfied.

I knocked of the door of the building, waiting for someone to open the door. It took a moment, but once it did, I saw one of my favorite people…..Greta.

"Ah, you smell like the sewers, and the only person that knocks on my door, except for those people that want to kick me out of my home...how are you doing Raphael."

I gave her a gentle smile, reaching out and giving her a hug, "doing just fine."

I normally tell her everything, but she's got so much going on, I would rather not bother her with it right now.

"Your voice sounds different" she points out, "are you sick?"

"Puberty" I lied, not wanting to go through that long story, almost laughing as she thought Leo's voice sounded like he was a sick person.

"I've known you since you were eleven, and already growing up on me" and returns my hug and wraps her old frail arms around my plastron.

"I'm not that old" I roll my eyes.

"Your birthday is in a couple of days and will be turning nineteen" she points out, taking me back that I've completely forgotten that it's going to be my brother's and I's birthday soon, "my boy is growing up on me."

"Oh come on Greta, I'm still going to be seeing you" I smile sheepishly, "I even got the money for you today, enough to pay rent, medical bills, and enough to get you some food as well."

She gasps, "you know you keep giving me money, I don't know how to repay you for all that you're giving me."

"Oh come on, I've told you plenty of times before, you don't have to pay me back!"

"You've been so good to me, I feel like I have to" she chuckles, patting my shoulder.

"Well, you know how I can be and know that I'm a walking and talking turtle, and you still invite me to your house every chance you get" I explain, "and I know that you have been struggling since you lost your sight, so I feel compelled to help you out Ma."

Took me in under her wing after I ran off for a few days, after the incident of stabbing my father during what should have been my meditation. I was a mess, breaking her things, yelling at her and calling her mean names. But she kept on being patient and nice to me, kept giving me food, and treated me as a normal being, like I was her own kid. Said I reminded her lot of her son who died years ago, murdered and was in a gang while he was still in high school. Invited me back after I walked out of the house; and that's what I did, I was mean to her for a while and took me a while to tell her thank you. Took around a year actually. The more I visited, the happier I was. She is like the mother I never had. She may be old, but she's really nice and lets me be myself, and never puts me down or favors someone over me.

Part of the reason why I haven't let the others know I'm associate with a human; it's selfish I know, but I need one place to be happy at and not worry about losing my shit.

"What did I deserve to have someone like you" she smiles.

"Nah, sounds cheesy, but I'm lucky" I smile back at her, wishing she didn't lose her sight, because I want her to physically to see how happy I am to see her, I really only smile this much when I'm around her, "you deal with my emotions and how up and down I can be, it takes a hell of a person to put up me and actually want me back into the house."

"I pretty sure your brother's want you in the home as well" and right when I role my eyes, she smacks the back of my head, "and I may be blind, but I know you, so don't roll your eyes at me."

Only Greta can get away with doing that; if it were anyone else they would have knocked out.

"Sorry" I muttered.

She waves her hands, "I just want you to know that they do love you, I know they do" and then snaps her finger's and gave a small gasp as she seems like she just has a sudden realization, "on your birthday, bring all your brothers with you to visit me.

"No, that ain't happen" I nearly scream, my eyes bulging out of my head, whole body shaking, heart pounding in my chest like no tomorrow, "no, no, no."

"Raphael" and wince as she pinches my cheek and lowers my head so it was even with hers, "I've been generous with letting you say no from my previous attempts on seeing your brothers, now I really want to see them sweetie, you're my family and so I consider them part of my family as well."

"Bu-"

"But nothing" she cuts me off, using that authoritative voice that can be just as annoying as Leo when he decides to talk to me that way, "so I want to see them on your birthday, and it will be theirs well so I want to give them something as well."

"Bu-"

She then cuts me off again, "and if you don't do that, I won't accept your money or let you crash here until you do, do you understand?"

I grit my teeth in frustration, having to take deep calming breaths to keep cool. She needs that money, but she can be so damn stubborn, she can be worse than me, to prove a point. It's infuriating. I know she will follow through with what she says, she always keeps her promise's.

Damn it.

I bow my head in defeat, "yes mam."

She gives me a smile and lets go of my cheek, planting a small kiss on where she pinched me and drops her voice down her sweet and welcoming tone, "sorry that I hurt you sweetheart, but I just want to meet your brothers that you always keep talking about…..I know they love you like you love them."

I gave her a small smile, "I hope so."

I know Mikey does, that guy couldn't hate anyone even if he tried. Only when you hurt people he loves is when you test his boundaries. It's Leo and Donnie that I have a hard time with.

"Love you Raphael" and she plants a small kiss on my forehead, closing the door.

I squeeze my eyes shut, forcing tears back as I felt them well up, taking a deep breath, "love ya too Ma."

I just stood there in silence, I don't know how much time passed until I finally heard somone speak.

"How much don't I know about you Raphael" I hear the voice of who I don't want to look at in the eyes, keeping my head down and eyes shut, shocked that he's hear. Scared of how much he saw.

"I feel like I don't even know you sometimes."

Once I was sure I wasn't going to break down, I got the courage to open my eyes, and turn to and lock eyes with the one being who will probably won't leave me alone until the day I die.

Leo.

"You don't know me at all."


End file.
